How Much Of A Fat Girl Are You?

There's no question about it - once you go fat, you never go back! Fat Girls Rule! To see how much of a fat girl YOU are, take this quiz to find out! (PLEASE NOTE: This quiz is provided for entertainment purposes only. It is not meant to be taken literally. If you do not have a sense of humor, we strongly urge you not to take it.)
1. What kind of salad dressing do you usually request when you order a salad at a restaurant?
Ranch
Something lo-cal/fat-free
Lemon wedges
Chocolate Sauce
Fat girls don't eat salad
Oil and Vinegar
No dressing at all

2. Your best friend tells you her boyfriend is cheating on her. You:
tell her to sell all his belongings on eBay
console her with chocolate
ask if that means he's available
tell her to leave him
ask her out on a date
sit on her boyfriend and crush his ribs
offer to get her drunk

3. Which of the following celebrities do you most identify with?
Kathy Bates (actress)
Queen Latifah (singer, actress)
Janeane Garafalo (actress, comedianne)
Camryn Manheim (actress)
Oprah Winfrey (talk show host, actress)
Wynonna Judd (singer)
Kirstie Alley (actress)

4. You compete in a singing contest and everyone (including the other contestants) says you have the best voice. However, you lose to a young, thin girl who the horny geekboy judge admits he picked based solely on her looks. You:
go on a crash diet to lose 50 pounds by Friday.
boycott the place citing Fat Girl Discrimination vowing never to return.
do nothing.
find out where he lives and start sending fat girl porn to his house.
go home, drink a pitcher of Margaritas, eat a bag of Oreos, and go back the following week.
create a website like this one.
cry, whine, complain and generally feel sorry for yourself.

5. Which of the following would you NEVER eat?
Lard straight from the can
French fries with mayonaisse
Is this a trick question?
Cauliflower topped with chocolate sauce
A Slim-Fast bar
An apple
An Oreo and cheese sandwich

6. Who was quoted as saying, "This is for all the fat girls!"?
Margaret Cho (actress, comedianne)
Oprah Winfrey (talk show host, actress)
Rusty Schwimmer (actress)
Kirstie Alley (actress)
Camryn Manheim (actress)
Rosie O'Donnell (actress, comedianne)
Trisha Yearwood (singer, songwriter)

7. What is a "shelf"?
A place where you put your books
That area between your chin(s) and your breasts where food falls
A thing in your pantry
A decorative thing you hang on the wall
Slang term for a big butt
A name for a girl who will eat anything
A name for a girl with big hips

8. After eating an entire bag of Oreos in one sitting, you realize your pants are getting tighter and you fear you're gaining even more weight. What do you do?
Start exercising with Richard Simmons
Move downstairs so when you can't get out of the house, the paramedics can get you out through the garage
Get depressed, lock yourself in the bedroom and eat a whole box of Mallowmars
Start fasting and drinking lots of water
Run to the bathroom and vomit
Nothing
Buy larger size clothes

9. Your roommate announces he is moving out so you buy him a cake. After he's gone, half of the cake is still left over. You:
lick all the icing off the cake and dance naked in your living room in a manic sugar rush.
throw the cake in the trash.
mail the cake to your roommate.
freeze the cake to use for the next birthday that comes around.
finish the cake yourself while watching re-runs of "Family Matters".
dip your finger in the icing, lick your finger and count that as your meal for the day.
eat a piece of cake and then silently shame yourself for weeks for doing so.

10. Your best friend offers to take you to "Fat Girl Heaven". She is referring to:
a shoe store.
a Weight Watchers meeting.
an ice cream place.
a restaurant that features an "all-you-can-eat" buffet.
a BBW dance.
a movie theatre with stadium seating that will accomodate your fat ass.
a clothing store that specializes in plus-size clothing.

11. How do you really feel about Fat Girls?
I'm ashamed of my extra weight.
I don't really care either way.
I am in complete denial about being fat.
I'm learning to accept myself.
I usually don't care what other people say about me.
I'm a Fat Girl and I love myself unconditionally!
I have good days and bad days.