Wow, when I think that Matt's kiss got cut out but these didn't....Matt
never got to even peck a guy on the lips, for Chrissake, but they got
away with...
- Megan and Michael were fighting because Kimberly asked him not to
have sex with Megan until after she died. Megan asked something along
the lines of, "What am I supposed to do till then?" Michael: "You could
always...you know...take care of yourself." Megan: "Michael, I married
you, not a vibrator." I had to play it back to make sure she said what I
thought she said. The look on Michael's face after she left was pretty
funny, too.
- Several double-entendres seemed pretty close to crossing the line
(not that I minded). Lexi has a ton of them. I was kind of shocked when
Kyle was doing push-ups on the floor, and Amanda, who was lying on the
bed, asked him, "Wouldn't you rather do that up here?"
- The other one--and I KNOW they meant this to be dirty--was when
Taylor was first attacking Michael, and she jumped on him, took her top
off, and said, "I need your sperm. Now shut up and give it your best
SHOT!"
- When Jake went to threaten Richard after he'd raped Jane, he slammed
him up against the wall and was in his face, saying he'd kill Richard if
he ever touched Jane again. After Jake left, Richard sort of slid down
the wall and said, "Yes sir!" like he was all turned on. I'd really be
interested to know what was in the script, whether he was supposed to
sound sarcastic or not. Maybe Richard Hart wasn't supposed to get off on
it, but Patrick Muldoon sure looked like he was. I thought my mind was
just in the gutter till I read a few other sites that thought the same
thing.
- There was a scene where "Betsy" went and got a knife while Michael
was asleep. There's a shot of Kimberly pulling the sheets down and
looking down at Michaels, uh,...stuff...and looking disgusted. Then with
her hand off camera, she very oviously grabbed something and lifted up
the knife to chop it of while she looked away so she didn't have to see
it. I forget what stopped her, but Michael didn't end up Bobbit-ized.
This was another one where I had to play back the video to make sure I
saw what I saw.
- When Christine's body was run over by the train, they (of course)
didn't show it, but I noticed there was a horrible squishing sound as it
roared past.
- This season, when Peter was talking to Dr. Visconti and telling hm
about being still in love with Amanda. Dr. Visconti asked him if he
still had sexual fantasies about her, and Peter said something like,
"You mean when I'm alone, or...." I'm pretty sure I didn't just have a
dirty mind, because they cut to Dr. Visconti looking slightly disgusted.
- In one of the funniest moments ever on Melrose, Michael snuck into
Jane's sofa bed while she was staying at the beach house after her
stroke. Right before she broke a vase over his head, he was down under
the covers and it looked, uh, sort of suggestive. It's possible my mind
IS in the gutter in this case, but hey, this is Melrose we're talking
about. If something seemed dirty it probably was intentional.
- In the last really great line Sydney had before she left the show,
she was telling her lawyer about being scared they'd go to jail for
faking a lawsuit, and yelled, "I'll be in a cell! With Big Bertha! I'll
be her bitch!" (Man, I miss her)
- In another hilarious moment, that only didn't make the top 10
funniest things I've seen on Melrose List in the interests of space,
Billy was kicking Craig's butt at a handball game, and they were having
some lame macho fight about their agencies. Billy whipped his butt
game-wise and, (amazingly) verbally, then before he walked off, smiled
and handed a defeated Craig a container with 2 raquetballs inside and
said, "...and I believe these are your balls."
-Kitten With a Whip
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