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If you ask me, Melrose Place is funnier than most sitcoms. Don't ask me
why, but God, I've laughed hard at some moments on the show. Most of
them involve Michael Mancini at some point. I still smile remembering
the scenes when...
- Michael and Amanda went to rescue Peter when "Betsy" had him prisoner
there. Everything about this storyline was hilarious and over-the-top,
but the funniest scene to me was when the doors opened and Michael and
Amanda came shuffling out in hospital gowns, pretending to be crazy in
order to blend in.
- When Michael went to seduce Jane when she was staying at the beach
house to recuperate from her stroke. Jane was sleeping when Michael
slipped into the sofa bed with her and started putting the moves on her.
Her eyes opened when he went down under the covers and was roaming
around below the waist, and she immediately and efficiently picked up a
huge ceramic vase and broke it over Michael's head. It was the way she
did it so quickly, like she had the vase all sitting there ready to go
so she would be prepared for such an event. I like how she didn't even
warn him or say anything, just reached over and WHAM! as hard as she
could.
- Earlier in the season, when Jane was trying to get Michael back to
make Richard jealous, she called him one morning while he was still in
bed, and Sydney was in the shower. Jane started talking dirty to him.
She was saying something like, "and remember the way I'd unbutton our
shirt, and start kissing, going down farther, and then--" cut to Michael
listening very intently, his eyes getting bigger, then he hastily slams
down the phone and races over to the shower and hops in with Sydney to
attack her. "Michael! What's gotten into you?" she giggles.
- I laughed pretty hard at the flashback of Michael stripping. I think
it was the tear-away Velcro pants that did it.Hee hee!
- During Matt's soap star lover's wedding, when Matt is his best man,
they start arguing before the wedding while they're standing there
waiting. His lover hisses, "I wasn't the one who slept with another guy,
remember?" what was funny was the look on the priest's face, as he had
obviously heard the whole thing and was speechless with shock.
- Back to Michael again. When Kimberly first started having MPD and was
turning into Betsy, they had talked that morning about keeping their sex
life interesting by acting out little fantasies ("I'll be the plumber
and you can be the hot-to-trot housewife"). When he gets home, "Betsy"
is cooking dinner and when he tries to kiss her she is horrified.
Michael of course thinks it's part of the little role playing game.
Betsy goes to lock herself in the bathroom, and you can hear Michael
ourside the door calling, "Kimberly? I don't think I like this fantasy!
Couldn't we try the uh, plumber scenario?..."
- I mentioned this on my Peter Burns list, but it's one of the
funniest things I've ever heard on Melrose, so I have to include it
again. When Sydney is still a receptionist a Burns-Mancini and gets
flowers from Michael. Kimberly happens to be there and tells Sydney,
"Here's a little tip, Sydney. When Michael sends you flowers, it means
he's cheating on you." Sydney gets nervous and asks Peter, who walked in
as Kimberly was leaving, "Peter, what does it mean when you send flowers
to a woman?" Peter tells her that when he sends flowers to a woman, it's
a sign of his love and affection for her, to show her she's always on
his mind. Sydney smiles to herself, releived. Peter starts to walk off,
then stops and says, "Oh, unless Michael sends the flowers, in which
case it means he's probably cheating on you."
- The scene where Jake yells at Amanda in the middle of D&D, and she
furiously tells him, "In my office, NOW." I expected her to close the
door and lecture him on making a scene at the workplace, but instead
she drops all her papers and starts making out with him, and they end up
having sex right on the desk. This was also the moment when I had the
realization that Melrose Place was THE GREATEST TV SHOW OF ALL TIME.
- There was a very funny transition, (also when Sydney was a
receptionist at Burns-Mancini--ah, those were the days) when Michael
tells Sydney at the beach house that he just got together with her to
make it look real when they went to visit Kimberly in the nuthouse, and
she says, "Oh God, I haven't learned anything, have I?" Michael:
"Apparently not". Cut to Michael and Peter at Burns-Mancini arguing over
how to work the phone system, which is ringing off the hook. "No no,
it's HOLD, then TRANSFER, then--"
- This was another moment when I realized how great Melrose was (and
also that the writers had a pretty good sense of humor sometimes). If
was forced to pick my fevorite Melrose line of all time, it would be
this one:
When Kimberly is telling Michael how the hospital is going to make her
take a psychological test, and how upset she is. Michael: "Let me ask
you a question you might run into on the test, just to see how you'd do.
If you were mad at your husband would you (a) confront him, (b) cheat on
him, or (c) dress up like someone else and run over him? On second
thought, let's hope that question isn't on the test."
-Kitten With a Whip
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