[EDITOR'S NOTE: This synopsis was co-written by Jo, the latest addition to the Melrose Space family. She can be reached at jinnes@chat.carleton.ca]

The management of Melrose Space would like to apologize if this synopsis gets out a bit later than usual. Last week, Stacie, our Fearless Leader, was so distracted by her grief over Bobby's death that she re-enacted Alycia's final scene and got into a car accident. Luckily, Stacie got off much better than Alycia did, and is only suffering from a broken wrist and a trashed car. Stacie reports that the experience left her with a deeper understanding of the Melrose characters. She would like the rest of the Melrose Space staff to join her in re-enacting painful Melrose scenes, but so far, Danny and Johanna selfishly refuse to fall out of windows, jab ourselves with needles or go to dinner with Loni Anderson. We love our dedicated readers -- and thank you, the marriage proposals are flattering -- but we do have our limits. Stacie would also like us to ask you, since she has a broken wrist, to please cut her some slack with the administrative nonsense. And now on with the show.

Cowboy Jake Hansen rides his motorcycle over to Mancini-Hart to dispense some frontier justice, with Alison arriving just behind him in her car. Richard tries some kind of ninja defense move as Jake storms into his office, but Jake whaps him upside the head with his bike helmet. Now that's gotta be a foul or something, hitting a guy with your headgear. That's also not a good way to take care of expensive safety equipment. Uncool, Jake. I call a do over. Alison, who stopped off en route to get certified as a United Nations peacekeeping force, rushes in and gets between the two combatants, just as Richard picks up some knickknack off his desk and threatens to ram it down Jake's throat. This is pretty macho behavior for a fashion designer, and Alison pays no attention. She reminds Jake that "this doesn't help Jane. This is about her pain, not your anger." Richard protests, "I don't know what Jane told you went on in New York." "Rape went on between you!" Alison yells, doing her Yoda impression. She tells Jake that they'll take Richard to court, and somehow this mollifies Jake and he lets Alison lead him out on a leash. Well done, Alison. Next stop Bosnia, and from there to the Middle East to patch up this messy Israeli/Palestinian thing.

Peter is still being questioned in the hospital for some reason; it's been four hours since Alycia's call, but instead of taking Peter down to the police station, the officers are just letting him wander from room to room. Peter and the officers stop into one of the empty rooms, with Peter still insisting that Alycia confessed to killing Bobby on the phone -- but then "there was a lot of static and we got cut off." (Apparently, Peter didn't notice her scream or the big crash; he had a lot on his mind at the time.) Then a random orderly pipes up and says, "Barnett? She's right here, Dr. Burns." And poof! Right in the same room with them is a big black body bag laid out on a stretcher. It's just the sort of nutty coincidence that would fit right in to "Three's Company" except it's really kind of gross and depressing. Peter zips open the bag and finds Alycia's mangled, vacuum-sealed for freshness body. And then -- as if things couldn't get any worse for poor Peter -- the doors fly open and in comes Amanda, with that Boys-Have-Lied-To-Me-Again look on her face. She socks Peter with a right cross that knocks him right on top of the body bag, unnecessarily squishing Alycia even more. "I've told you before!" Amanda yells. "Never, never lie to me!" And she's using that line so often these days she might as well just tattoo it to her forehead, just like Billy's T-shirt that says "I've always loved Alison" and Jake's "I don't understand" button. The police officers hold her back from smacking Peter again, but instead of booking her for assault they just let her stalk out of the room again. As always, being a Special Guest Star has its privileges.

Well, now that everyone's taken a swing at him, the police finally haul Peter's butt down to the station, where Officer Plotpoint lays out the case against him. It's actually pretty convincing, and I'm starting to think that maybe Peter did kill Bobby after all. Peter just sits there and maintains that he's not guilty: "Am I under arrest? Because if I am, I want my lawyer right now." Um, okay, Peter, we'll wheel her in, but I don't think she's gonna be much help to you now that she's essentially two-dimensional. Officer Plotpoint decides for no reason to let Peter go, but he has to be back at the station by tomorrow morning at 9. He's basically just toying with Peter at this point like a fish -- throwing him out and then reeling him back in. Even police officers need a hobby.

Michael catches up with Peter outside the station, and Peter asks where Kimberly the walking alibi is. Peter finally fills Michael in on the fact that his wife is suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, which he should have done about six weeks ago. Michael is in such serious denial at this point that he has completely left Spaceship Earth, and he sarcastically asks, "And how, pray tell, did you come up with this diagnosis?" Peter is stunned -- hasn't Michael noticed that Kimberly's had three completely different personalities for months, including one that bopped him over the head with a hammer? Michael's response: "That was her?" Doctor Michael Mancini, ladies and gentlemen! Frustrated, Peter rips up Michael's Mensa membership card and splits.

Back at Jane's apartment, The Helpful Twins badger Jane about reporting her rape to the police. Jake stands like a menacing mannequin in the corner while Alison drones on about how Jane needs to take power over her life by doing everything that her friends tell her to do. "Look, whatever you want to do, I'll support you," Alison lies, even though it's perfectly obvious that the only thing Alison will support at the moment is blind obedience to her instructions. Jane, reverting to toddlerhood in the face of all this nagging, wraps herself in a blanket and shuffles off to her bedroom for a nap.

But presto-changeo! The very next scene finds Jane sitting in the DA's office, happily chattering away about her rape. Jane just feels swell and empowered now, but then the shaggy DA tells her that there's no way she's gonna win this case -- they were "known lovers," they were partying together, she took forever to report it, and there's no physical evidence. The only thing that could make the case worse is if she had Mark Fuhrman testify on her behalf. Also, Jane's sexual history will have to be "paraded in front of the jury," which for a Melrose character could take years. However, prosecuting the case will give her a sense of personal power and will make a statement EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NO WAY ON EARTH THAT YOU COULD EVER POSSIBLY HOPE TO WIN THE CASE. But it's your decision, Jane! Jane just sits in her chair and stares straight ahead at the wall, obviously trying to make Richard's head blow up with her psychic powers. The DA helpfully offers the name of a good therapist -- heck, if she's a really good therapist, the whole apartment complex oughtta go -- but Jane says that she'll take care of it all on her own, which on this show usually means that Jane's planning to put on a wig and run him down with a car. Look both ways before you cross, Richard!

Then the director cues the contrived Matt subplot, and we cut to Matt taking care of the cleanest, most well-groomed homeless street kid I've ever seen. Obviously he's spending his rent money on hair gel. Matt's being nice to the kid, but then Dominick comes in and starts throwing his weight around, ordering the kid down to X-ray. The kid starts getting nervous, asking, "How sick am I?" Dominick doesn't like patients talking back: "Sick, okay? Y'wanna get better? Then do as I say." And the kid is whisked away to X-ray, where he'll probably have to wait for six hours and then get the wrong part of him X-rayed. Matt points out that Dominick was a little curt, but Dominick snaps that he's "not in a touchy-feely business." Um, Dominick? Yes, you are. It's called pediatric health care. Welcome to it. Matt is worried, but Dominick assures him that "detachment clarifies thought." That's actually very good advice, especially after you've been watching Melrose for a while.

So let's try detaching ourselves from that dull scene and moving on to tonight's only Sydney scene. She's sitting at her desk, bummed out that Bobby's dead, because now she's lost her last bit of storyline and she's just supposed to sit at this desk and dejectedly flick the lamp on and off for the whole darn episode. Michael tells Sydney to try to call Kimberly. Sydney says she's tired of trying to call Kimberly. Michael says to call anyway. And so ends another action-packed scene.

Jo returns home from another day of aimlessly wandering the street, and finds Dominick sitting on the steps waiting for her. Damn, if I could have that waiting on the steps when I got home every night, I'd be a freelance photographer too. Dominick says he's "looking for a little conversation," and he might as well be -- that's about all that's happening in this extremely talky episode. Last episode was all car crashes and kung fu golf swings; this week it's just talk talk talk. I guess everyone's all tuckered out now and can't muster the energy to do much of anything. So Jo, who's never been exactly hyperactive to start with, languidly allows Dominick the run of her apartment, although she says he has to help sort her photos. The horndog thinks he's close to scoring, so he starts making a big deal about how he loves to sort things: "There's something very Zen about it." But his love of sorting obviously isn't attracting Jo, so he decides to impress her with how sensitive he is and tells her that he treated a baby that was found in a dumpster today. Sensing that he's on the right track, he starts spouting off: "I'll never get why a mother would have a baby if she can't deal with the responsibility of caring for it." Taking that comment way too personally, Jo flies off the handle and says that Dominick couldn't possibly understand the pressures of being a single mother. Then she asks him to leave. Dominick can't understand what's going on -- he really expected an easy score this time. This poor boy seems to strike out every time on the flimsiest of reasons; maybe he should change his deodorant or something.

So does everyone remember how two weeks ago Amanda slugged Peter because he'd been accused of sleeping with Brandy and then the very next day came right back to him and said she was sorry and she believed in him now? Well guess what. She slugged him again about ten minutes ago, and now she's come back around to him so fast she's got whiplash. She must be auditioning to be this year's Duncan Yo-Yo Spokesmodel. She shows up at his house, telling him, "It's truth time, Peter. I have to know. Did you set Bobby up?" He starts his usual Peter jive, saying, "It's not that simple, Amanda. There were certain levels of deception..." But before he can start waffling, she yells, "No! No more lies! This is too important!" So obviously she's been to No More Lies camp, which is just down the road from Kimberly's No More Victims camp. Peter admits that he and Alycia set Bobby up, but he didn't kill Bobby, and anyway he's real sorry. Amanda thinks about this for all of ten seconds and then starts nuzzling his chin with her forehead. In moments they're kissing and everything's fine. Obviously Amanda's philosophy is to hate the sin but have monkey sex with the sinner. It's a rather liberal worldview, but that's her business. So Amanda and Peter are back to the hardcore snuggling they do so well, which means they don't notice Kimberly, decked out in full Betsy-garb, watching them from outside Peter's window. "That's okay, Peter," Kim coos. "I can wait until you're alone."

The next morning, Alison and Jake show up to pester Jane again. What a terrific boyfriend Jake must be; does he ever visit Jane without bringing Alison along? Jane says that it's not worth it to try to make a case against Richard, so she's just dropping it. But Jake and Alison just won't let it go, both insisting that they know what's best for Jane. Jane finally gets sick of their nagging and just slams the door on them. Stay tuned for three more repetitions of the exact same Alison and Jake nagging Jane scene.

Amanda and Peter wake up and hustle to get out. You've got a big day today, little soldier -- you have to report back to the police! Don't forget to pack a lunch. Amanda hugs him and says she'll always be here for him, then splits. Cue Kimberly's big entrance -- obviously she's been standing outside Peter's house all night and hasn't gotten a wink of sleep, but she still seems pretty perky. She says that she needs his help; she knows she needs to be hospitalized now, and she's found a place where they have space for her. He'll be happy to check her in -- boy, will he ever -- but first they have to take a trip to the police station so she can confirm his alibi. Kim smiles and says she'll do whatever he needs.

But enough of all this nonsense with Peter and Kimberly. I know you're all out there clamoring for more information about the sick little street urchin, aren't you? I hear you crying: "Where is the street boy? Is he feeling better? Can I get him anything? I'm getting up anyway." And of course I understand your concern. He's touched us all. Well, he's resting comfortably in a hospital bed, although no one's telling him anything and he wants to get out. Matt is trying to impress Dominick with how butch he can be, so he growls at the kid, "We'll tell you when it's time to leave." And a hearty welcome to Wilshire Memorial Prison! That's managed care for you -- if you're a street kid with no parents, no insurance, and no diagnosed illness, they'll just keep you in a private room for a while, just in case. This hospital is like a welfare advocate's wet dream. Out in the hall, Dominick congratulates Matt on successfully intimidating another vulnerable youngster, but when Matt says it's real hard, Dom sarcastically says he can always go back to being a social worker. Matt bristles, and Dominick helpfully informs him that "you're going to have to get a thicker skin than that if you want to stay on my team." Then Dominick and his assistants buzz off, leaving Matt to bask in the refreshing afterglow of Spooky Foreshadowing.

So Jane crawls back to Richard's office to beg forgiveness for acting all uppity. She assures him that he doesn't have to worry about Jake and Alison anymore -- "they're old baggage, I'm cleaning house." Richard, who's just choking on testosterone at this point, says he's glad she's come to her senses: "What happened between us was special and always will be." Yeah, that was special all right, Richard. It was practically a Maxwell House International Coffee moment. Jane smiles and nods and as soon as Richard turns away, her face turns cold and hard and she shoots smoke out of her nose. Obviously she's been taking acting lessons from Marcia Cross.

And speak of the devil -- here's Kimberly now! Peter is driving her to the police station and she's doing the smile-and-nod shtick, until she pulls a big ol' hypodermic needle out of her purse and jabs it right into Peter's leg. And let's just take a moment to remind the kids in the audience not to try this at home. Kids, jabbing a huge needle into someone's leg while he's driving is usually a one-way ticket to Alyciaville. Kimberly is a trained professional. Peter casually pulls off the road and turns off the ignition before he reacts, and apparently the needle happened to find a vein, because the sedatives in the hypo are making him very groggy. Kimberly easily maneuvers him into the back seat, then takes off with him.

Well, your boyfriend may be a wanted murderer, but the fast-paced world of advertising waits for no one, so Michael finds Amanda at her office. I don't know why Amanda feels the need to go to work; clearly, Michael has no problem with the fact that he hasn't seen a patient in weeks. Michael tells Amanda that both Kimberly and Peter are missing -- the police came by the office and said that he didn't show up at the police station. And how much denial is Michael in? So much that he actually thinks it's possible that Peter kidnapped Kimberly. Hello, Michael? Pick up the pink courtesy phone. Amanda reminds him that Peter's not a kidnapper, but Michael says, "No,but he's a scam artist and a manipulator and a liar." "He's not a liar," Amanda snaps. "At least not to me. He tells me the truth." Well, as of this morning, anyway. Finally Amanda admits that she's worried and gives her Concerned Look another workout.

That night, Kimberly and Peter arrive at the Willow Bridge Institute, a charming four-star asylum with a heated pool and an antidepressant laid out on the pillow when the maid makes the bed. Peter groggily tries to introduce himself, but Kim takes charge, referring to him as "Mr. Peters" and saying that he's the new patient she's brought for treatment. Oh, Magoo, you've done it again! Peter protests that HE's the doctor, but Kimberly explains that that's one of his delusions. Apparently the orderlies will listen to anyone in a print dress, so they drag Peter off, screaming and thrashing, into the asylum for check-in. Kimberly sighs and smiles and just feels really good about herself right now.

The next morning, Betsy traipses into the beach house carrying the ugliest tote bag ever seen, which is okay, since it goes with her awful June Cleaver dress. Apparently this is her second night completely without sleep -- she's gonna need one heck of a nap when this is all over. She's horrified to find her bed unmade, so she huffs and puffs and sets to tidying up, which seems to involve beating the snot out of the pillows. She screams when she whips back the cover to find Michael asleep, Oscar Madison-style, under a random heap of blankets. She reminds him that a trial separation means that he isn't allowed to sleep in her bed, but since when has ANYTHING kept him out of ANYONE's bed? Michael deftly ignores her comment, and explains his presence by telling her how worried he is about her -- she hasn't been home or shown up at work. Michael asks Kim/Betsy to call the cops and tell them about her dinner with Peter, and surprise surprise, she denies the dinner ever happened, saying that as far as she's concerned, Peter probably did kill Bobby. Now I'm wondering if anyone else has noticed that while Kimberly is putting stuff in her tote from her dresser drawer, she's actually just moving the same purple sweater back and forth seven times. Is this a new Betsy motif, or did the cameraman just take the wrong shot? Michael also happens to mention that "Peter also diagnosed you as having Multiple Personality Disorder, and, um, I'm a little concerned." (Frankly, I'm a little concerned that he never noticed it himself.) At this point Kimberly's head starts to spin, and she huffs off to parts unknown, ranting about how her reputation is being smeared by a wanted murderer. Mikey watches her leave with an expression on his face -- is it sudden understanding? Diabolical scheming? More likely just total confusion.

Cut to Peter at the Willow Bridge sanitarium (est. 1941) -- what the heck, no one else has an interesting storyline anyway, let's just go back and forth between these four characters until the hour's up -- and the poor shlub already has nasty hair and is sporting a gray robe that hasn't seen soap since the Carter administration. I guess he isn't fond of the 12 Monkeys look, because he smooths down his hair and asks a large orderly to see the doctor in charge. Of course, it's common knowledge that all orderlies on TV are nuttier than the patients they care for, so this one gives Peter a little lesson in manners -- "You didn't say please" -- and then puts him in a teensy headlock before steering him towards the Director, Dr. Tucker, and -- yes! You guessed it! -- Priscilla Presley, a.k.a. Nurse Benson. Peter tries to explain his predicament, and says he understands why they might be confused. "I'm not confused. Do you feel confused?" drones the evil Dr. Tucker. Burns decides to prove he's really a doctor by spewing a bunch of medical garbage. Add that to the stutter he seems to have developed, and it's not wonder they think he's wacky. Dr. Tucker coos over Peter like a three-year-old, and introduces him to Lloyd, another of the patients who can also spew random jargon. This seems to be the last straw for Peter, who finally suggests they call his office. Unfortunately, it then dawns on him to tell the truth, which we all know can be fatal in Melroseland. "I'm wanted by the police," Peter calmly explains. "I missed an interrogation." Dr. Tucker asks, "Do they interrogate you often, Mr. Peters?" I don't know, Dr. Tucker, do you turn everything into a condescending question? Peter starts ranting that he's a doctor and that he's unmistakably sane. Sure. That would account for the yelling. The men in the white coats drag away a still-yelling Peter and give him 25mg of something really groovy.

Back at Melrose Place, the madness continues. Richard and Jane are coming out of her apartment, his arm around her -- which is really quite a feat, considering the size of the jacket she's got on. She must have borrowed it from Bobby. Little Richard is "stoked" about their new collaboration, and tells Jane that they should redecorate her office and "make everything feel brand new." Well, nothing makes a girl forget a rape faster than some new drapes and an electric pencil sharpener. Jake ambles into the building on his hind legs and confronts the two new pals with a sad little "this makes me sick." Richard once again claims that his rendezvous with Jane was consensual, and Jane tells Jake not to judge her. Jane asks Richard to wait in the car, then wails on Jake: "Did it ever occur to you that I might prefer Richard's company to yours, or are you too dense to get it?" By this time, Jake is self-aware enough to choose door number two, so he mopes off into his own apartment.

Meanwhile, back on the funny farm, Peter tries another tack -- hitting on Nurse Benson. He desperately tries to flirt with her, telling her that he's calm and oriented, thanks to her therapeutic influence. That line might be slightly more convincing if he'd been in the place for more than six hours, but you're the boss, Peter. You know best. Just as he gets ready to really lay it on with a trowel, Betsy shows up and spirits him away for another round of Melrose Confessions! Betsy the manic cruise director babbles on about symmetry: "You imprisoned Kimberly in an asylum; now I've committed you." Peter breaks in to remind her that he got Kimberly out, so she should return the favor. Of course, that would be too easy, since Betsy has now decided that Peter needs a lesson. Turns out she's forged an entirely new set of papers for him, so they won't believe that he's Peter. And don't try calling her Kimberly anymore: "Kimberly's gone. Rita's in lockdown. I'm Betsy. I'm in charge now." (Fine, but couldn't we at least let Kimberly pick out the clothes in the morning?) Betsy has also been moonlighting at Willow Bridge for a few weeks, where an entire staff of psychiatrists has failed to notice anything weird about her -- and she's now the acting director, since her new friend Dr. Tucker is off on vacation. Now it's time for Peter to go through everything he put her through. How very charming.

Meanwhile, Billy decides he has no story, so he comes into Shooters in the middle of the day for a drink. He sits down with Jake for a beer and some advice. He says he's been a total jerk to Alison -- no duh, Billy -- but he loves her again and wants her back. He realizes now that he's always loved her, even when he was married to bitchy women who threw spaghetti at the wall. "Love's overrated anyway," spits Jake the cynical street poet, and Billy agrees, "cause women are crazy." Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize -- they certainly are on this show. Jake agrees a little too readily, and Billy asks if there's trouble with Jane. Jake growls like the neanderthal he is, and grunts something about how he had feelings for her, and it was a terrible idea. Billy says he shouldn't let her walk away, and Jake wisely advises him to drop it, since he doesn't know what he's talking about. Folks, we have another winner. Jake pours a couple of "real drinks," but Billy leaves, so Jake downs them both himself, starting on the road to another lovely evening of patented Melrose drinking.

Amanda and Michael -- aka Nancy Drew and the Lost Hardy Boy -- try a little amateur sleuthing at the restaurant where Peter and Kimberly were. The long-haired waiter barks, "Yo, I'm Dutch." Wow, this really is Los Angeles! Michael holds up a terrible picture of Peter and asks if Dutch has seen him. This gets in Dutch's craw: "What're you, cops again?" "What're you, the mayor?" Michael snaps back. "I asked you a simple question." (Okay, I just want to take a time out here to draw some extra attention to Michael's non sequitur comeback -- "What're you, the mayor?" I don't have a joke about that. There isn't a joke that could possibly express my bewilderment that that actually came out of his mouth. He must have been channeling Jo for a minute there.) Amanda cuts him off and calls over the girl who is conveniently running around taking romantic pictures of the diners. Amanda says that "Enrico" is a little shy, and they'd like to see samples of the photographer's recent work. Well, she just happens to be carrying around a binder of last week's snapshots, and Amanda immediately spots Kimberly in the background of one of the pictures. Amanda dismisses the picture ho, who obediently disappears down a trap door. Now Amanda wants to poke around in Kimberly's office -- "There's no way I'm letting Peter's fate dangle between you and your psycho bride." Michael says he's sure Peter is doing fine, and Amanda says he'd better be -- because she loves the guy, and if Michael is wrong, she'll blind him with the glare off her unbelievably long roots.

Back at the apartment complex -- remember that? They all live in an apartment complex -- Alison helps a drunken, singing Jake into his place, where he collapses on the couch in a stupor. So, once again, ladies and germs, it's time for Melrose Confessions. Jake tells Alison that it's no wonder Billy loves her; she must give him that "special feeling." Yeah, we've all had that special feeling, Jake -- just lie down and close your eyes and it'll pass. Jake describes it: "When you pass someone a thousand times, say hi and move on. Then you realize she's IT." Keep in mind that he's pointing right at Alison the whole time he says this. Alison, sitting right down on his crotch area, asks if he's talking about Jane. Yeah, right, Alison -- what're you, the mayor? And BOY was the preview from last week misleading, because at this point she leans over and kisses him goodnight on the forehead, then leaves.

Back at Willow Bridge, Nurse Benson and Dr. Betsy disagree about Peter's condition. Benson thinks he's improving, and thinks his medication should be lowered. Betsy wants to up the medication, and if his agitation doesn't stop, he should be put in leather restraints. But I bet she says that about all the boys. Insert creepy music here.

Jo goes down to the marina, taking random, out of focus photos of boats. Who is this job supposed to be for, The Boat Council? Someone should let Jo know that "freelance" doesn't mean that you just walk around and take pictures of everything you happen to see. Anyway, Dominick shows up, saying that Jo's "service" told him where she was. (Her service? Whatever, Hootie.) He apologizes for making her angry, saying he has feelings for her. "Not for me," Jo says, "for what you imagine me to be." Which is what? A bad photographer? An obsessive maniac? "C'mon, talk to me," Dominick the puppy whines, so Jo admits that she gave her baby up for adoption. He's surprised that that's the whole problem, telling her that it doesn't even compare to the baby in the dumpster. It strikes me that Dominick is possibly a little too reality-focused to strike up a relationship with our pal Clueless Jo. "You gave your child a home and a life, and I love you for that," he says. Okay, maybe he's not THAT reality-focused. Jo yells at him not to use that word, and then follows the Melrose formula, melting into his arms and crying.

Amanda and Michael, rummaging through Kimberly's office, find a brown paper bag containing Peter's wallet, watch, keys, and birth control device. Amanda's a smart girl and immediately knows that Kimberly's done something with Peter. Michael (not so smart) goes off into the stratosphere with his own conclusion -- "Peter could have planted this stuff to make Kimberly look bad so that he could escape without being followed." Amanda gives this fantasy explanation all the respect it deserves, and says she's going to call the police. Michael begs for more time, so Amanda gives him one more day to play junior detective.

So back at everybody's favorite asylum, Peter is told that it's time for a walk -- right into the procedure room, which doubles as a medieval torture chamber. Peter starts to struggle against the orderly who's leading him there -- "Where are we going, Dave?" Dave's a cheery little soul: "We're going to hell." Nurse Benson shows up and lovingly leads Peter to the procedure room, where he sees the two scariest things in the world -- a shock therapy machine and Betsy. Peter struggles and screams, "No! This is insane!" but Betsy and the sadistic orderlies strap Peter in and shove a rubber plug in his mouth. Kimberly's finger poises over the "stimulus" switch. One has DEFINITELY flown over her cuckoo's nest.

Matt is trying out his new jerky bedside manner with the street kid, telling him that he needs to start an IV. Matt has a hard time getting the needle in -- "You've got some tough veins here." He's about to try stabbing the IV directly into the kid's leg, Betsy-style, when the kid decides he's had enough, and jumps out of bed. In the ensuing struggle, Matt gets jabbed in the upper arm with the needle. The kid escapes -- fly, well-groomed street urchin! Make for the border! Matt takes a look at his arm, where a drop of blood now appears. All he can say is "Oh, no." That's pretty much the way I see it too. Hell of a way to get a storyline.

Jane hikes down to the local shooting range, subscribing to the Jo Reynolds school of city dwelling -- buy a gun! Heck, buy a harpoon while you're at it! The attendant asks if the gun's for self-defense. She says it isn't, so he asks what it's for. "Safe sex," she spits. Modeling her new spring line -- huge goggles and massive shiny earmuffs -- Jane grips her new weapon and blasts away at the target. And what could she be thinking of? Well, here's a hint -- a flashback of her rape appears over the target, with the gun blasting into Richard's head again and again. Oh, next week's gonna be LOTS of fun. I can't wait, can you?

--written by Danny and Jo

Jane loads up her gun and has a chat with Syd, telling her she's going to be her alibi and co-conspirator in Richard's murder. Amanda and Michael show up at Willow Bridge, but Miss B. claims Peter's not there. Cut to a shot of Peter bound and gagged, with a needle stuck in his neck. Boy this show is needle-happy these days.