We are treated to our early-morning-L.A. opening montage (including a
milk-man delivering milk in clinking GLASS milk bottles to a house... do
people really still do that?). Finally brought back to 4616 we see the
construction workers sawing wood in the yard, but, magically, not a spec
of sawdust is in the pool (and some people think Pool Boy doesn't do his
job well!). Panning into an apartment we see Billy waking up, in theory
to the sound of the buzz saw outside his window until we hear a far more
grating sound - his wife's voice making airplane reservations to Miami.
Billy stands behind her, wordless, as the entire conversation takes place,
his hands on his hips, and as she hangs up the phone she turns to him and
coos "Ohhhh, you're up!" in a voice that betrays she got caught at
something, but she won't come clean. When Billy asks what is going on in
Miami Brooke quickly concocts a lie about real estate investment in Miami
and something about tripling her money in the first year and she is
thinking it's the perfect place to put her $10,000. Billy, not caring at
all, just says "well, it's your money" and tries to take a drink of orange
juice right from the pitcher from the refrigerator. Before the OJ can hit
his mouth, Brooke pulls it away and says "the only thing worse than
morning breath is orange juice breath" (and here I thought she was going
to comment on his lack of using a glass). She continues saying, "First
you brush your teeth, and then we start this day all over" which is funny
because there are few things nastier than the taste of orange juice
immediately after having brushed your teeth.
We then see more construction work going on in the courtyard and zoom in
on Jake's door. Inside we see Jo leaning against a fire place grilling
her boyfriend. "So, I'm waiting for an explanation. We had that big night
planned and then you call, you say you can't talk." Then, without missing
a beat or changing her tone of voice she says "Who's in your shower?"
Jake, smart man that he is, says simply "Shelley" apparently not thinking
his girlfriend will care that some generic female is in his shower. Jo
nods and says "Who the hell is Shelley?" but, A-HA!! Jake gets a smug look
on his face (I have no clue why) and says "Jess' ex-wife." He explains
all about Shelley's arrival in L.A. and that she will be staying with him
for a day or two. Jo asks how Shelley reacted to the news of how Jess
died, and Jake loses his smug look, looks down at the ground and just says
"She doesn't know all the details yet, I haven't told her." Jo tells him
to just keep his mouth shut and say it was an accident, which is, of
course, Shelley's cue to enter wearing nothing but a yellow towel. With
big pouty lips she apologizes for interrupting Jo and Jake and I'm
wondering how often it is that a first-night guest starts walking around
the house after a shower in a towel - don't they normally dress and then
come out? Jake introduces Shelley and Jo and Shelley says "Oh, right,
Jake was just telling me all about you" and I'm wondering when "just" was
since she seems to have just been in the shower and Jake is totally dry.
Shelley and Jo have a polite exchange of pleasantries. Jo tells Shelley
she's sorry about Jess and Shelley says "Yeah Jake told me that you two
were really close, and I'm sorry for you too," and I'm wondering in what
bad taste Jake decided to tell Shelley about Jo and Jess' relationship.
Jo smiles and says "Yeah, well, life goes on doesn't it" and I wish
someone had said "Not for Jess" but I wasn't that lucky. Jo leaves
promising to call Jake from work and, outside the door, proceeds to give
us that patented Melrose sigh.
At the hospital we see Michael on the phone saying "I hope when you say
'maximum security' you mean maximum security" which makes no sense, but
Michael doesn't seem to care. Sydney walks up carrying an armload of
files just as Michael hangs up and says those were all the files the
hospital would release to her about Kimberly. Finally the trio is
complete as Peter - sporting a new hairstyle with bangs that make him look
like a sheepdog - walks in from yet another direction and I'm wondering
who is watching the office. Peter and Michael have a 5th grade tug-of-war
for the files on Kimberly and finally they turn to Sydney, obviously the
most mature if least educated of the three, and she declares the files to
be Michael's and that Peter can get his own. Peter says "Sydney, how many
times do I have to say this to you? You work for both of us." Michael
pulls Peter away and as they walk down the hall, he tells his partner,
"You know you're wasting your time with Kimberly. She's beyond medical
help... beyond psychiatric help. Hell - she's beyond the Lord's" but
before Peter can retaliate, good ol' Dr. Hobbs walks up behind them. He
compliments Peter and Michael saying he heard their surgical practice has
really taken off and Peter says "Yes, we have a full caseload." If they
have a full case load now I'm wondering not only who's at the office, but
how both doctors have so much time to devote to Kimberly. Proving if we
can't have more scenes with Matt, at least we'll have more scenes ABOUT
Matt, Dr. Hobbs says he's glad the whole Matt Fielding mess is behind
them. Michael says "I heard he was cleared" but the head doctor says
"Yeah, well I still fired the little faggot." Michael, of course, sees
this as an opportunity for career advancement saying "That bigoted bastard
should really watch his mouth or he'll wind up in some serious legal
trouble. Might even lose his job." Peter responds coldly to the idea and
Michael realizes he's on his own in this one.
Back at D&D we see Alison sitting in Amanda's office when Amanda comes in
blathering about some financial report she can't find. Alison points out
that it's under the phone. Amanda, unable to put together two plus two
says "Wait...how'd you know that?" and Alison confides in Amanda that her
eyesight is returning. She proceeds to confide that her eye sight is a
secret until some "personal issues are resolved." Amanda, in an odd
moment of sympathy, wishes Alison good luck at playing blind to get Billy
back. Amanda begins to walk out the door when Alison calls to her and
finally the reason for Alison confiding in Amanda is revealed as Alison
tells her about finding Brooke snooping through Amanda's personal files.
Storming out of her office Amanda goes out and confronts Brooke face to
face and Brooke lies effortlessly denying having gone into those files.
Amanda storms off not believing Brooke just as Alison comes in waving her
arms in front of her as if she were still blind but miraculously not
bumping into anything.
Over at Mackenzie-Hart Jane is being complimented by Elliott Freeport, a
man from the bank that will be financing the company. Jo comes in, her
camera bag slung over her shoulder, and Jane introduces her to Mr.
Freeport saying that "using an exclusive photographer for pre-release
publicity is another one of their unique marketing ideas" and I'm trying
to figure out exactly why that's unique... or even worth mentioning. Just
then Richard enters and apologizes for being late. Freeport says it's not
a problem, "Ms. Mancini is a terrific host" and if they have a successful
show the line of credit will be theirs and anyone who has ever seen Jane's
designs knows that these guys don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of
getting two cents from that bank but NO PRESSURE guys. Richard must sense
this, or else he's suddenly become constipated because he snaps, "Once
again all the applause for Miss Mancini" and storms off. Jane follows
Richard into his office, walks up behind him, smiles and goes "Mmmm, you
smell nice honey" as if that will make everything all right...
complimenting his cologne. Trying a new tactic she says "We're almost
there." Richard turns to her and says he sometimes wonders if she's
pulling a "snow job" on him the way she pulled on Freeport. Jane denies
it saying Freeport is business and that Richard is her knight in shining
armor, so apparently she's pulling a completely DIFFERENT kind of snow job
on him. She smiles and says she loves him and they kiss the most
dispassionate kisses I've seen on this show recently. Not coincidentally
Richard chooses that exact moment to pull out a diamond engagement ring.
Jane seems flustered and agrees to marry Richard then adds "but maybe we
should wait, at least until after the show. We don't want anything to
overshadow it." She says she'll wear the ring when they're alone together
but not at work, and I would take that as a sign of problems, but Richard
agrees. He says "It's nice to see that look in a woman's eyes again" and
I'm thinking the last time he saw that look was when he was bearing down
on a deer in the headlights and wondering what Richard does for fun in his
spare time.
Back at Jess' grave Jake is sitting/leaning on someone's headstone which
is even less respectful than I would have given Jake credit for, but he
doesn't move from the headstone the entire scene. Shelley walks up and
rambles something about everything with Jess being so "left up in the air"
and I chuckle thinking it wasn't left in the air, it fell through the air,
down a few stories, then broke. Jake, in his infinite wisdom, spouts the
Zen phrase "It's tough, I know." and I'm thinking his compassion knows no
bounds. He then takes this opportunity to tell Shelley that he was with
Jess when he died, that Jess wanted to kill him, and they fell off the
platform together. Jake says he feels responsible and Shelley gets a hard
look in her face and says "Look, nobody knew Jess better than me and I
barely know you but I know what he was capable of. It could get ugly."
Obviously that's why she wanted to get back together with him. Then she
says "I gotta get outta here" and leaves Jake there, still leaning against
the head stone.
Michael and Matt - who is plastered and sporting that same sheepdog
hairstyle Peter had earlier - are sitting at Shooters and I'm thinking
Michael is branching out to new areas of Melrose Place but then discover
he's only there trying to convince Matt that Hobbs fired him because he
was gay (this is news?) "Hobbs made what I would call a definite
homophobic statement," Michael says to which Matt cynically replies,
"Alright, what's your cut? Ten percent? Twenty percent?" When Michael
says it's free of charge, Matt then realizes that with Hobbs out of the
way Michael may finally get that Chief-Of-Staff position. He tells
Michael he's not in the suit business, he's not in the revenge business,
he just wants to forget and move on, which is what he does by leaving the
table, being sure to take his drink with him.
Finally back to Kimberly, who we haven't seen since the dream sequence
before the credits. She is eating her dinner with her fingers when Henry
appears once more telling her that he is the only one she can trust, "Just
like before." Kimberly starts throwing her food at the mirror and says
"You bastard, I'm ruined, locked up like a caged animal because of you"
and then proceeds to jump on her bed screaming wildly. We then see behind
the mirror is Peter and another man who rush into Kimberly's room and
sedate her. Forcing her into a wheelchair they take her down the hallway
and now we've gone from "Silence of the Lambs" to "One Flew Over the
Cuckoos Nest" as we get to see Kimberly administered electroshock therapy
(and poorly depicted I might add). They give her three quite lengthy
shocks as Peter looks over her with concern on his face.
Back at 4616 we see Billy and Alison sitting pool side on saw horses
(because it's always a good idea for blind people to get near both
construction equipment and swimming pools). Brooke comes down on her way
to her flight to Miami, and Alison excuses herself to go back to Jane's
apartment. She walks back without her hands in front of her and opens the
door without hesitation. Apparently Brooke noticed too because she brings
up to Billy how Alison has lost that tentativeness and says "Wouldn't it
be wild if she was regaining her sight?" Billy, having been hit on the
head with a soccer ball one too many times asks, "If that were true why
wouldn't she tell us?" so Brooke points out the obvious: getting the
sympathies of an old boyfriend. She kisses him goodbye and flips his tie
telling him to "stay out of trouble" knowing damn well he couldn't get
into trouble even if someone gave him directions and a map.
At Burns-Mancini, Sydney is in Peter's office asking why he's so
determined to help Kimberly citing, "Kimberly is a viscious monster with
so many screws lose she could start a hardware store". Peter replies,
"Kimberly has what we call 'certain issues'" and I'm wondering what other
people call them. Peter then says "Let's just say I know what she's going
through." Sydney says "You're a psycho too?" and I'm thinking about that
attempt on Amanda's life, but all Peter says is "For hiring you, yes. For
helping Kimberly, no. I just don't want to see it happen again, that's
all." Sydney picks up on the word "again" which is when Peter confesses
to Sydney about his sister who ended up in a similar situation, but he
couldn't do anything about it. Sydney says "I didn't know you had a
family" which is a dumb thing to say even for Sydney but even dumber is
Peter's response. "I don't", he tells her. "It died with her" but I
wonder what other secrets may someday come out of Peter's family closet.
Peter then tells Sydney to forget what she just learned and he has to go
on rounds. Peter isn't out the door when Sydney picks up the phone and
says "Michael, get in here. Have I got something to tell you." We leave
that scene as I wonder why Sydney didn't just cross the hall to go to
Michael's office to tell him.
Back at Shooters we see Matt for a second time, and here I was worried he
would disappear after the murder story ended. The Heavenly Kid (or at
least the actor who played the title role in the 80s film by the same
name) walks up and asks, "You're Matt Fielding aren't you?" Matt replies
with the oh-so-witty, "Last time I checked". The Heavenly Kid introduces
himself as Tom, with the L.A. office of the Gay and Lesbian Rights
coalition, coming to offer their free legal services. Matt realizes that
Michael called them and tells Tom that Michael's' motives are "anything
but altruistic." Tom, obviously showing himself to be the lawyer, says
"We don't care. We'll win a case any way we have to." Matt then goes on
a tirade about being labeled as a gay man, and he doesn't want to fight
it. "Right now I'm at a point where I just want to be left alone," he
says, which makes me think he gets paid the same weather his character has
a story line or not, and he's tired of working so much. Tom tells him he
has a responsibility to fight for the rights of gay men, tells Matt to
give him a call if he changes his mind, and leaves.
Jane storms into Richard's office. He has released the news of their
engagement and Jane is more than a little upset. Richard smiles and says
"What can I say? I'm lousy at keeping secrets." Jane replies "This is
about the spring line" as if that changes everything in an instant. She
then says "Nothing can overshadow our work." Richard leans back and says
"Why the hell not?" and asks why it's so important to Jane since Mackenzie
is going to get all the credit for the spring line. Jane then goes into
the stepped-on role she plays so well, saying she wanted to just
accomplish something on her own... how she's always been Mrs. Mancini,
Michael's ex-, someone's fiancee, defined by who she's with not what she
does. Richard then says a line that I just have a gut feeling will come
back to haunt him: "I'm not one of these men, Jane. I'm not out to hurt
you." Jane relaxes slightly and Richard says "Should we get back to work
now?" which is an odd change of roles.
We then cut to Brooke sitting at a telefische machine in what I am
assuming is a library, but it actually looks more like a hallway from the
hospital. Brooke scrolls through the newspaper articles on the screen
sheet by sheet at a slow pace. Soon she gets to a picture of Amanda with
a guy, the headline saying "Amanda & Jack Parezi Vows Exchanged" and I'm
thinking if Brooke is just meandering through newspapers looking for news
on Amanda Parezi she would have been in Miami a week, not just a day.
The next scene, Brooke is outside a door ringing the bell. Not
surprisingly Jack Parezi, the man from the newspaper picture with Amanda,
opens the door. Brooke is there and all smiles as she says her car broke
down out front. At that point Jack had to know she was lying... I've
never seen anyone smile when their car breaks down, but nonetheless Jack
lets her in to call the motor club. Upon entering, Brooke mixes one lie
with another, saying she's in Miami from L.A. looking into real estate
investment. Jack, probably wondering why this babbling Brooke told him
all this, leads her to the telephone, which happens to be in the same room
as a large painted portrait of Amanda. Brooke walks up to the picture and
says "Your wife?" to which Jack says "It was... Amanda died five years
ago." Then enters the epitome of a Mafia thug, eating a sandwich and
saying, "Everything okay Mr. Parezi?" as if Brooke using a telephone
required a bodyguard. Jack says everything is fine and leaves Brooke
alone on the telephone. Mutual snooping occurs as Brooke looks at a
wedding photo of Amanda, in the full white gown, and Jack goes over to
where Brooke set her purse down, goes through, and steals a business card
from D & D advertising. Why he finds this suspicious is beyond me, as she
already said she was from Los Angeles, but the "important moment" music is
playing so I think there is more to be made of this.
In Jane's apartment, Alison lets Billy in to work on some ad copy. She's
wearing a red dress and had already poured him a glass of wine, which
makes Billy suspicious. While Alison tries to come up with ad slogans,
Billy proceeds to make funny faces by moving his eyebrows. I found the
faces to be nothing spectacular, but Alison finds this terribly amusing
and starts to laugh, ending the charade of her blindness. Billy says
"Brooke was right, you can see." Alison concedes this but says it just
came back and she was going to tell him, to which Billy replies "But you
figured what the heck, I'll just lie to him a little while longer."
Alison tries to play this off as something Billy should be flattered by,
how their time together was how it used to be (he used to lead her around
by the arm stopping her from bumping into things?) but Billy says "Alison,
our relationship is over. I married Brooke." Billy gets up and plays
everything off just saying "Don't lie to me again, okay?" as if that's all
there is too it, but Alison takes it as an opportunity to twist the knife
a little deeper saying "I wonder if you've ever said that to Brooke. I
may have been a little dishonest, but how honest has she been/ Are you
going to tell me that someone like Brooke doesn't keep secrets?" Billy
looks down, obviously thinking of the Miami trip, and Alison just says "I
didn't think so."
At the beach house, Sydney is decidedly drunk sitting next to Michael on
the couch, rambling on how Peter is trying to save the sister he couldn't
save. Realizing she's drunk, she asks what it is they're drinking, jet
fuel? Michael tells her it's something distilled from the residue of
fresh wine, rumored by his ancestors to have aphrodisiacal powers (which
ancestors were these? Uncle Vinny arrested for date rape?) He then puts
his hand on Syd's stomach, but she laughs and tells him to stop, wanting
to talk about their plan against Kimberly. She then walks out on the deck
and slurs rambling drunken nonsense about how her life is a ball that
bounces from relationship to relationship, scheme to scheme... and I'm
thinking the aphrodisiac might be working if she's talking about bouncing
balls... That aside, she talks about how Michael is the only constant in
her life, and Michael walks up behind her and starts kissing her on the
neck. Syd turns to him but says "Wait, what about Kimberly? You said you
had a plan." Michael says "Silly girl, this is the plan." With that he
picks her up off the ground and carries her into the bedroom, both of them
laughing all the way.
Things aren't quite as giggly in Kimberly's cell the next morning as
Kimberly sits, immobile, leaning against the wall. Nurse Ratchet walks
in, says "Visitors, Kimberly" and then leaves as Michael and Sydney walk
in, hand in hand. Sydney is sporting some awfully realistic afterglow as
Michael stands almost too close, running his arm up and down Syd's bare
arm. They compliment Kimberly on how well she looks. Michael says "I
even think I see a little color in those cheeks" to which Sydney replies
"I thought only Michael could put that kind of color in a woman's cheeks"
and proceeds to kiss right there in front of Kimberly. Kimberly seems as
nauseated by this display as I am as she starts to moan and whimper "Stop
it. Stay away from me." Sydney then plays it up a little further saying
"Michael, I told you this wasn't a good idea. I mean, seeing us
separately that was one thing, but now, seeing us together realizing that
we're a couple again..." Kimberly once again has another fit, screaming
"Get out" and climbing behind her bed. Peter then rushes in to the
rescue, pulling Michael and Sydney out of Kimberly's room and saying if
they ever bother her again he'll have them arrested. Michael smirks and
says "It looks like future trips won't be necessary now, does it?" He and
Sydney then leave to go have lunch.
Billy is hard at work at D & D when Brooke comes up to him, wraps her arms
around him, and says "Hello, darling." Billy, grasping the obvious with a
talent that only he could have says "You're back." He asks about the
investment and she says it was a windfall, but she has to go talk to
Amanda. On the way to Amanda's office she sees Alison, who tries to tell
Brooke about her miraculous eye-sight recovery, but Brooke guesses it
first and says "Goody for you, Alison," turns, and walks away.
Brooke goes into Amanda's office and shows Amanda the printout from the
newspaper and says "I expected skeletons, but nothing on this grand a
scale. Faking your own death to get out of a marriage. Changing your
name, changing your whole identity. Only you could pull off something
this wild." Amanda then does something we've all wanted to do for this
entire season. She grabs Brooke by the neck and slams her into a wall,
starting to strangle her. Amanda grunts "Those were my personal files!"
to which Brooke cries, "You're hurting me!" which I think was Amanda's
intention. After a moment's pause Amanda loses her determination and
let's Brooke go - and here we were all thinking we'd get to see Brooke
dead. We may yet still as Brooke then starts right up again saying "I met
Jack - lovely guy" but concedes she didn't tell him Amanda is still alive.
Amanda warns Brooke that she's in way over her head, that Jack comes from
a dangerous family, that he's abusive, and that she went to great lengths
to get away from him, but Brooke is having none of it. Amanda finally
gives in and says "Name your terms." Brooke has conveniently already
drawn up a list of all the changes she wants effective immediately at D &
D which she hands to Amanda before bouncing out.
Back at the only bar in L.A., Jo walks in to find Shelley is now working
behind the counter at Shooters, doing the books, and complaining about how
Jake needs to get a computer. Shelley says, "I started thinking about it
and I realized I didn't really have any other place to go, except back
home, the same dead-end job" and I'm thinking that now she decided to stay
here and pick a dead-end job... not much of a change except more smog.
Shelley even had some accounting experience, so she's, obviously, perfect
to keep the books of a bar. Jake and Jo then walk to the door and Jo asks
if he finds it odd that she would want to work here after finding out
about Jake and Jess and her, but Jake says "She had Jess figured out
better than any of the rest of us and she understands. Besides, she
needed a break." Jo brings up that it's the same attitude that had Jess
working at Shooters, but Jake doesn't listen. She exits as Matt enters
and if you look closely you'll see there's nothing outside but a white
blinding light which means either all of L.A. has collided with the sun or
the set people forgot to put the backdrop in place before Matt opened the
door.
And why is Matt there? He's come to meet Tom, the GAY lawyer, who is
sitting there drinking a beer in the middle of the day. I'm sorry... free
or not, if I'm meeting with a lawyer I'd really like them to be totally
sober, but maybe that's just me. Matt says he changed his mind and he
wants to go after Hobbs. He and Tom shake hands on this, and I'm thinking
that they may have just had sex... on this show it's hard to tell.
It's nighttime at D & D as Amanda calls a late meeting between Billy,
Alison, and Brooke. Amanda informs Alison that she is being demoted and
Brooke is taking over all of her duties, although her salary will remain
unchanged. Brooke, on the other hand, is getting a merit raise and the
corner office. Alison starts to argue but Amanda says these decisions are
final and leaves. Alison chases after her and tries to get Amanda to
admit Brooke is blackmailing her with something found in the personal
files. Amanda replies with, "Never mention those files again, do you
understand? As for my decisions, they're final, and I will defend every
last one of them if questioned, which means you could end up more screwed
over than you already are." Amanda then gets on the elevator and talks
about how the new, nicer Amanda is gone and how if you open yourself up
someone punches you in the gut, and I'm wondering why Billy was even at
the meeting as none of this had anything to do with him except that he's
slept with all three women that were there.
It's time to see more of Jane's wonderful design work as models walk down
the runway in designs so awful you'd think they're real. It seems to be
the end of the show as Jane walks out on stage with a microphone. Richard
calls after her but she keeps on walking, a determined grin on her face.
Once on stage all the models come out on stage behind her. She says "For
those of you who don't know, my name is Jane Mancini and though you won't
find me in your program, I personally designed this line. In fact,
Mackenzie Hart had nothing to do with the creations you've seen here
tonight." This is greeted with a round of applause as if such company
betrayal is commonplace at fashion shows. One of the models even hugs
Jane as she walks off stage towards a very angry Richard and I'm starting
to really think their relationship isn't healthy. "What in God's name do
you think you're doing? You just betrayed me and this whole company", he
says angrily, but Jane defends it as just taking credit for her work.
Richard then tells her she's fired but not a single word is mentioned
about their engagement.
At the beach house Sydney comes in to find Michael listening to music with
headphones on. She comes in wearing a ridiculously funny leopard-spotted
coat, with a skimpy black dress underneath. She brought some champagne to
celebrate their victory over Kimberly, but Michael just replies "Sydney,
get lost." The smile slowly fades from Sydney's face as what is happening
sinks in. Michael continues by saying he only did what he had to do to
get her in the right mood for their visit to Kimberly, and that Kimberly
would have seen through it if it was fake, but now that Kimberly is
totally far gone, he doesn't need Sydney any more. Sydney says "Oh God, I
haven't learned anything, have I?" to which Michael replies "Apparently
not," puts his headphones back on, and closes his eyes.
The next day at the office of Burns-Mancini, Michael and Peter are having
an argument over how to use the telephone (and these guys are surgeons??).
Sydney walks in, shows them both how the phone works, and proceeds to tell
them she quits. Michael says it's fine with him, but now Peter wants her
to stay, saying everything she's done was because she was under the
influence of "a very evil man." Sydney says "I had no idea what he was up
to until it was too late" but I think she's referring to their having
slept together, not to Michael's attempts to drive Kimberly insane, but
Peter doesn't seem to care, offering Sydney an extra $100 per week, under
the table, if she will stay on as their secretary and also spy on Michael
for him. Sydney, in a very willing mood to get Michael back, agrees to
stay.
Jane is jogging along the beach side sidewalk when Richard pulls up next
to her. He mentions that she's had some job offers, and she confirms
that. Richard says "I thought the idea was for you to run the show
yourself," but Jane replies "The idea, yeah... it just didn't turn out
that way," and starts to jog off. Richard stops her and tells Jane that
he released a press statement that morning of Jane's involvement in the
line and Mackenzie's death. He also offers her a job at any salary she
wants, full participation, because Freeport from the bank called and said
that there would be no line of credit without her. Jane agrees to return,
but she's in charge both creatively and financially. She also wanted the
company name changed to Mancini-Hart. Richard agrees, except that the
company name is Hart-Mancini, Jane agrees, and starts to jog off. Richard
stops her once more to ask about their engagement, to which Jane smiles
and says "One step at a time, Richard," and finally continues her jog.
Brooke is moving into the corner office that Billy is saying he'd kill for
but I can't understand why as it seems to have no windows that go outside.
He and Alison are discussing how Brooke managed to get the office, and
Alison brings up Brooke's trip to Miami, and also that she caught Brooke
going through Amanda's personal files. When Billy tells Alison to stop
back-stabbing his wife, she asks if he has another theory. He says,
"Maybe she earned it. Maybe Amanda was impressed with her ambition and
skill." Not even Billy can believe this, even though he's saying it.
Alison then says he can find out what happened a lot quicker than anyone
else and he says "You want me to investigate my wife? It's none of my
business, or yours," as if his wife blackmailing their mutual employer is
none of his business. Alison pleads for sympathy one more time, but Billy
is downright cold as he says "As you can see again, why don't you look
into it?" Inside Amanda's office while this great intellectual debate is
taking place, Amanda is shredding her personal files (and I wonder why she
didn't do that years ago).
Finally at the Los Angeles airport, Jack Parezi gets off of his United
flight (since the show plugged the airline, I thought I should too). The
limo driver is waiting there for Jack and asks if he will be staying in
Los Angeles long, to which Jack replies "I'm not sure, all depends what I
can find here." The ominous music plays and we fade to credits.
--written by Arnie, edited by Stacie
"Simply Shocking"
This week's episode starts off with Michael emerging from darkness towards
a gate. For a moment I thought they were trying to be artistic - then I
just realized that the director had delusions of "Silence of the Lambs".
Michael goes up to the gate and waits, but suddenly remembers he's not at
the supermarket and the doors to high-security prisons usually don't
auto-open. He ahems for attention which seems to wake up the guard inside
the gate (which is weird because with the echo Michael's footsteps seemed
louder than his cough). The guard gets up, unlocks the gate, and points
down the long corridor behind him. The hallway seems to stretch on
endlessly and has a yellow line in the middle, making it look suspiciously
like a 2-lane rural road. The guard says "stay on the yellow line (what
is this, "The Wizard Of Oz"?) and I'm wondering if this place is so
dangerous that he has to say on the yellow line, why were the guard's feet
on the table when Michael arrived? Michael hesitantly walks down the
hallway and I'm thinking that this place looks remarkably like a janitor's
closet. I guess they are still blowing the extras budget on the
construction crew because the entire way down the hall there isn't a
single cell or prisoner... just off-tan walls. Finally he gets down the
hall and turns left and once again the director has his delusions of
ripping off "Silence of the Lambs" as we see the glass wall of Kimberly's
cell. Inside stands Kimberly looking like one of the rejects from that
70's show "Women In Cell Block H" complete with blue prison jumpsuit and
her hair pulled back so tight it almost makes her head look shaved. When
she asks Michael what brought him to "this little corner of hell" he
replies that he just wants to make sure she's "safely tucked away".
Kimberly assures him she's perfectly safe but he, on the other hand, "is a
dead man". With that she turns away from him, rips the sink from wall
and, in cheesy "Bionic Woman" slo-mo fashion, throws it through the glass
wall. In keeping with the "Things from the 70s We'd Rather Forget" theme
she then does her impression of "Kung Fu Fighting" as she kicks down
what's left of the glass window and begins stabbing Michael with one of
the shards of glass. As expected, Michael wakes up from this nightmare in
the hospital staff room. He gets up, rips the masking tape label from
Kimberly's locker and throws it to the floor a little too energetically
while repeating this week's mantra: "No way... no way you're ever getting
out".
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