Kimberly is at Megan's house showing her admiration of Amanda by using her tough as nails voice to fire Megan. It seems Kimberly hired Megan to "service" Michael while she was having her little intimacy problem. Well that plan backfired majorly. According to Megan, Michael can't part with her, because as she explains, "I took him places he's never been before." Judging from the books on Megan's wall she must mean the library. I'm sure that's one place Michael's never been. An annoyed Kimberly snaps, "Cut him loose!" as she storms out the door.

It's morning at our favorite LA apartment complex where PoolBoy is moving the water side to side this week instead of back and forth. Of the main characters, Samantha's up to bat first. She opens the door to her and Jane's apartment and finds a basket of flowers with a note from Craig. Jane comes through the door, makes a dumb comment about men and flowers, and heads off to work telling the bathrobe-clad Samantha to "take her time coming in". Concerned for the well-being of her roommate, Mother Theresa urges Jane to "take some time off after everything that's happened". But Jane, who has evidently taken a trip up de Nile, tells her that after "everything that's happened I need to keep busy, stop living in the past, you know, start working on my future" which is exactly why she's going to a fashion designing job after surviving a horrifying relationship. There's something new. And speaking of Jane's past, here it is waiting to bite Jane in the ass in the form of Jake and Alison smooching in their doorway. "Relax", Jake tells Alison when she jumps at Jane's appearance - "she's not out to get us." Yeah Jake, and orange juice is not just for breakfast anymore either. Jake and Jane walk out together and she mentions Alison's obvious paranoia and then tells Jake she's thinking of moving. I hear there's an apartment available just down the street - has a little smoke damage, though. Jake discourages her grunting that, with time, everything will get back to normal but Jane disagrees.

Amanda shows up at D&D at something resembling the normal starting time for most offices. As soon as she brings her tousled blond head in the door Billy grabs her arm for a barrage of bad news. First, Arthur met with the board twice while Amanda was out of town. Although the meeting was a "big secret" Billy found out by "wandering" (he really said this!) into the conference room while the meetings were taking place. Primary order of business for the board: "reorganizing" Amanda out of a job. Just when Amanda's absorbed this, Billy hits her with the second surprise. "Craig is pitching Midline Airways this morning. He scheduled the meeting himself." Amanda expresses shock that Craig's Fisher Price phone could actually make real phone calls and tells Billy he should have stopped the meeting. "You made Craig my boss", Billy whines but Amanda is more concerned with the potential "disaster" at hand and runs off to find Craig.

In the elegant and empty offices of Burns-Mancini we see Michael backing out of his office with his beeper going off while muttering some excuses to Dr. Schulman, who is apparently sitting in his office. As Michael shuts off the beeper, Kimberly asks him what's up. Michael's up - (get your minds out of the gutter) - up for consideration as the new Chief of Staff at the hospital. Kimberly can hardly get the congratulations out of her mouth when Michael goes into Peter's office to call...Megan. Kimberly, borrowing a page from Sydney's playbook, lifts her phone and listens to the entire conversation. "What did you do last night after eleven? Or should I say, who did you do?", Mr. Suave asks Megan reminding her subtly of how much he respects her. Megan tries to cancel her date with Michael and her relationship with him. "Not tonight - not ever", she says. Michael demonstrates further respect and admiration by saying he will see her tonight at seven regardless of her petty desires and hangs up. Out at the receptionist desk Kimberly stares sadly into space.

OK, remember last year when Billy was Bill Stud and he slept with the chick from Brooks & Enwright so he could steal their ad campaign for Midline Airways and, subsequently, land the account? Well, after all that "hard" work, it seems Craig has taken it upon himself to screw everything up. He emerges from the Midline office and it's quickly obvious that, not only has Craig been nailed to the wall, he's also been given a wedgie and run up the flagpole. "D&D is sure not the agency it was 6 months ago", barks Mr. Midweight Airline as he escorts Craig to the receptionist area and he's actually got a good point - no one has had sex on a D&D desk in months. Craig pleads for another chance but Mr. Baker refuses, instructing his receptionist to "hold his calls" as he huffs back into his office. Craig stumbles to the elevator only to bump into Amanda striding off the elevator so pre-occupied she doesn't even notice him standing right in front of her. Time to trim those bangs! "Just tell me you didn't blow it", Amanda says but it's apparent he did. Craig begs for mercy telling Amanda, "you don't understand the first thing about my relationship with my father" evidently laying the groundwork for a Menendez defense when he finally offs the old goat. Amanda pauses less then a second and proposes a deal. She'll save Midline Airways in exchange for Arthur's notes from the secret board meetings, which Craig agrees to. This deal done, Amanda marches confidently to the receptionist and asks to see Mr. Baker. When the receptionist informs her that he's seeing no one, Amanda makes it clear she's the Special Guest Star and, therefore, Mr. Baker WILL see her!

But her meeting must not have lasted too long because now Amanda's back at the apartment complex standing by her mailbox looking through her fan mail. Sydney walks in and asks, "where's the rock?" referring to that engagement ring Peter bought last week. Amanda is understandably confused and asks what Sydney knows of the cursed jewel, so Syd tells her how she saw Peter showing it off to Taylor right after he bought it. She mentions how "Peter has exquisite taste" which Sydney would know since she sold all of Peter's possessions and concludes by telling Amanda how "chummy" Peter and Taylor were. Amanda takes all this to heart, despite the fact that the source of this gossip has a big-eyed poster of the Carpenter's over her mantel piece.

Michael's suffering, this time from an anguish more physical than mental, and the only cure is Megan. Here he is pulling up to Megan's house. "Michael no!" Megan says - bad dog! Michael comes in anyway and to prove her professional status Megan waves her rather thick black book in his face. "I am a prostitute!" she says. "It's over Michael, I've got a John coming over." Michael seems to accept this and leaves.

Back at the apartment Amanda is eating cereal for dinner. Peter, obviously concerned about this aberrant food choice (he is a doctor remember), is hovering over her asking what's wrong. "What two minutes did you not spend with Taylor while I was in Portland?", Amanda asks but Peter insists that there is nothing going on between he and Taylor. Amanda reminds Peter how he's used up his Lie Limit and asks him to confess "anything you haven't told me." When Peter says there is nothing to tell, Amanda takes her Fruity Pebbles and Mrs. Beasely doll and goes to bed. The life of a Special Guest Star isn't easy.

It's early morning chez Jake and Alison, and Amanda has shown up with a big goofy grin on her face and a bag of bagels for Alison. It turns out she wants Alison to work for D&D for 3 days on a consulting basis - basically just long enough to get through the Midline Airways crisis. Seems they haven't been happy at D&D since Alison left to pursue the waitressing arts. Amanda offers her 5000 dollars and, although Alison tries to sound unenthused, you can tell she's thrilled. She promises to think about it and get back to Amanda.

At Shooter's, Billy is letting off some steam at the pool table and Sam comes up to him, apparently to make him feel miserable. She tells him that if he ever needs to talk, she'll listen and asks if everything is okay. And as we all know, every recently dumped person just loves to hear false concern from their dumper. Billy explains that Craig is making his life miserable so Sam adds insult to injury by sticking up for Craig. Billy tells her that, under Craig's great tan (Baywatch reference) beats the heart of a snake and he doesn't know why she can't see it - maybe because she's as dumb as a bag of hammers? Billy then stalks out of the bar. At the bar, Alison asks Jake for a few days off to work for D&D and he looks less than thrilled. MUCH less than thrilled. She explains that since she lost everything in the fire, she could use the money. Jake instantly melts into Puffboy and tells Alison he'd be glad to "buy her some new jeans or t-shirts" because, after all, these are the things solid relationships are built on. Alison wants her financial freedom, provided that's ok with Jake, and since when does Alison ask her boyfriends for permission to do *anything*?

At Demented & Deluded, Kyle shows up to look at the preliminary sketches for his restaurant's ad campaign and to tell Amanda that he doesn't like her attitude towards Taylor. Amanda recommends that Kyle "keep the little woman on a short leash or I'll run her over". Taylor is a dog now? Good analogy. Kyle then launches into a fascinating tale of how he saw lots of tough guys in the Marines and how he isn't afraid of Amanda, who's really just a scared little girl. Amanda snaps, "Go to Hell - and give my regards to your wife when you get there!"

At Wilshire Memorial, Michael pops out of an operating room and hijacks Peter in the hallway. Turns out Michael is doing Peter's surgeries and now he wants Peter to help him land the Chief Of Staff job. Michael has even taken the liberty to type up a letter of recommendation, which says something like "While I was in jail for first degree murder, Michael did a nifty job of handling our private practice". Peter gets angry and tells Michael that there's no time for him to be Chief Of Staff, what with their practice on the rocks. Michael begs - whines, actually - for Peter to sign the letter and slithers back under his rock.

It's later in the evening back at 4616 Melrose, and Matt and Dan are just getting in from their first date. They drift in holding hands and, after some small talk, Matt invites Dan to spend the night. Dan declines, explaining that he's a one-man man and he wants Matt to be really sure before they get really involved. Matt agrees reluctantly and, just as you think they're actually going to kiss, they instead perform the patended Melrose Place Homosexual HUG!

See Michael. See Kimberly. See them sit on the deck of their beach house whining about their crumbling marriage. See Kimberly tell Michael she can "make him forget the last month" and then get up and leave. End of scene. Really.

That same evening, Peter and Taylor meet in a dark parking lot -- he needed to talk to her. Peter tells Taylor that Amanda thinks they're having an affair and she admits that Kyle thinks the same thing. Taylor says there's nothing to worry about because "We're just friends". Sure. And if you believe that's all she wants to be, I'm Aaron Spelling. She sucks up to him, telling him he can share his problems with her, and he explains that the practice isn't going well and he wants to tell Amanda the truth about who Taylor is to get back on a level playing field. Taylor begs him not to in order to save her relationship with Kyle, who wouldn't understand if he found out. Peter agrees reluctantly and she hugs him and starts breathing heavily. Peter just looks bored.

Back at the beach house, it's the rest of the confusing scene with Michael and Kimberly. Kimberly comes into the living room wearing a black nightie which I guess she thinks is sexy but could be right off the rack at K-Mart for all the appeal it has. Michael has fallen asleep on the couch and she whispers that she just wants him to love her like before as she leans over to kiss him. Michael, still half-asleep, moans Megan's name in the middle of the kiss. Taken aback, Kimberly sits up and Michael rolls over and starts barking in his sleep. Kimberly is crushed.

It's morning in Taylor and Kyle's apartment (I'm still wondering if they re-painted that black bathroom) and she's busy pushing coffee in his face and blinding us in her shiny silver nightshirt. Kyle is obviously distracted and tells her that he can't trust her. She immediately assumes that Amanda has gotten to him but Kyle admits that he's seen her flirting with Peter, "doing that thing you do with your lips". Taylor asks, "What thing that I do with my lips?" Umm... the fact that they take up half your face and everytime you breathe you inhale small states? She then goes into her puppy-dog mode and tells Kyle how lost she'd be without him and how he's her whole world. The "interrogation" over, Taylor excuses herself because she's just GOT to get to the restaurant, despite the fact that boss man is still in his skivvies.

It's Alison's first day back at D&D!! She's immediately greeted by Billy who starts to fill her in about Craig but alas, Craig is standing right there and stops him in his tracks. Craig soon starts to charm Alison who admits "you're not what I expected." Then Craig rushes Alison off to the conference room and Billy is left standing alone looking like the pathetic boob he is. Once in the conference room, its all business. Amanda remarks to Craig behind Alison's back that he has 48 hours to get the notes to her or "your father gets an earful".

After work Alison heads over to Shooters to start her shift - wait, wasn't Jake giving her a few days off? Jake once again slips into his Mr. Inferiority mode when he sees Alison in her fancy work-clothes and tells her that she looks different - not good or bad, "just different". Alison tells him that she saved the airline account and then lays the news on him that Amanda wants her back at D&D full-time and has offered a huge raise. Jake, ever the pouting hunk, is visibly worried and Alison reassures him that though she has not given Amanda an answer yet, it's going to be a BIG "No". Jake is relieved to hear this and offers Alison a partnership in Shooters. Alison declines his offer, reassuring him he doesn't need to bribe her because she's perfectly happy in her jeans, so denim is apparently the theme this week.

Then we're off to the hospital where an obviously frazzled Kimberly is clutching a bag of food searching for Michael. She runs into Matt and frantically asks him where Michael is. Matt tells her Michael isn't there and notices Kim's shaking hands. As she rushes off down the corridor, he trots after her and asks how she's doing. Ducking into the elevator, she tells him she's fine. Matt knows something's up but he's got better things to worry about so he shrugs it off. Inside the elevator, Kimberly's hand is shaking violently as she announces aloud that "it's starting already. I don't wanna die."

Megan's home from a hard day on the job and look, Michael's car is in her driveway! She steps into her home to find him on the phone to one of her "clients", her phone book in his hand, saying that Megan is "out of the business ... closed up shop, gone fishin!" After he hangs up, he tells her that he wants to take care of her and her family (!?) and that he wants to be the only man in her life. In typical Michael fashion, he tells Megan that he wants them to "make a commitment to each other. I want you to be my mistress." That's a commitment? When Megan gives Michael the same astonished look I did, he proudly admits he's an "old-fashioned guy". He tells her that he wants to give her more and then explains that he can't leave Kim because they've been through a lot together and since when has that held him back? Megan says yes to being a kept woman, announcing that there will be consequences.

Now Amanda has come home after going grocery shopping (she's so domestic these days) and Peter appears on the steps to offer her help with her bags. Once inside, he sits her down for a little heart-to-heart. Peter admits that he's feeling a little of the Jake Syndrome and that he is not used to Amanda taking care of him like she has been ever since he got out of jail. He wants to buy her nice things and take care of her and all of this is the reason for his moods lately. Amanda then opens up a bit and says that she's come to need him in the past year, something she's not used to. However, while he was in prison and, ever since he's come home, he hasn't been the same and she's apparently been punishing him because of this. They both apologize and Peter whips out the new ring he bought for her, all on his own like a good little boy. But wait, it's a mood ring so that he can "understand her better". Awwww! Amanda comments once she puts it on that it's red and this spawns some kissing and mushy talk.

Peter is at the hospital - you know, the one where he used to work before the Burns-Mancini medical practice set was added to the show - and he has a chat with Dr. Schulman. He tells her about Micheal trying to snatch up the position of Chief Of Staff, obviously feeling threatened despite the fact that Michael has been trying to get this job for the past 3 years. He makes a few remarks to make Mikey look bad and then "tosses his own hat" into the ring, reminding her how he once held the position way back when before he got involved with all the lunatics on this show. Dr. Schulman is overwhelmingly supportive of Peter who then crumples up the recommendation letter Michael gave him to turn in. Why do I get the feeling Michael and Peter aren't going to be good friends much longer?

Elsewhere in the hospital, hornball Matt tells Dr. Dan how he wants him and dreams of him and thinks of him all the time and has been going out of his mind because he hasn't seen him in TWO WHOLE DAYS! Dan is more reserved while Matt seems to slobber all over him - what happened to him? He never used to be this desperate - first his bad haircut and now this. Dan gives all his "I'm not ready for a relationship" excuses while Matt continues to force the issue saying, "I don't see how it can hurt..." Dan finally admits that the past TWO DAYS have been hard for him too. All this and all they can do is hug? Gimme a break - if they were heterosexual, they'd be picking china patterns by now.

Sydney drags Jane into Kyle's although Jane keeps complaining that she wants to go home. Sydney mumbles some nonsense about how she wants it to be like old times and to be close as sisters again and go find some other poor unsuspecting sap they can victimize and beat with garden tools. Hey look, there's one now! Kyle pops out of the kitchen and seems glad to see "Syd" who goes into another giggle-fit as she introduces him to her sister Jane. Kyle, obviously suffering from the same foot-in-mouth disease as Sydney, immediately mentions Jane's recent troubles and then conveniently excuses himself since Taylor is, once again, MIA. Jane has had enough of these redundant storylines - she warns Sydney about getting involved with a married man and then leaves the restaurant.

Craig is escorting Sam home from their second date and rambling about his Daddy since they've obviously already run out of things to talk about. No wait - there's always the topic of Billy, whom they discuss briefly before Sam invites Craig in for some coffee. Craig thinks, perhaps, some caffeine will help get him through this scene and accepts. However, once inside, his true intentions become evident as he grabs Sam, kisses her and starts unbuttoning her dress. This isn't how they make coffee back in Maryland and Sam pushes him away. Craig says goodnight and leaves and it appears he won't be coming back anytime soon.

It's late at night in LA and Jane is standing out on the streetcorner by a pay telephone. Either she has decided on a career in prostitution or she is going to make a phone call. Fortunately, it's the latter and Jane calls her parents in Chicago telling them, "I'm not sure who I am anymore". Did Jane get amnesia while I wasn't paying attention?

Since he didn't get any sex, Craig has some time on his hands so he sneaks into his father's office and starts looking for the meeting notes for Amanda. While playing Junior Detective, Craig finds a confidential file containing his mother's will. He reads it and is surprised to discover she left him all her D&D stock which he was supposed to get when he turned 21. So either A) his father didn't tell him this or B) Craig is still in his teens. I vote "B". Arthur enters the office and explains he didn't tell Craig because he doesn't think he's ready, but I think it's more along the lines of Arthur is a sexually frustrated ugly old man who can't resurrect his music career nor play golf so he uses Craig as his hobby. Craig has been to college and tells Daddy that, with the 33% of D&D stock he owns, Craig now has "controlling interest" over the company although it seems one would need 51% to achieve that. Craig sneers, "D&D will never be the same!"

Michael's car pulls into Megan's driveway and Michael and his mistress step out of the car while Kimberly watches from her hiding place in the bushes. She watches love-sick Micheal give Megan kisses and then drive off wildly in love and now I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Kimmy and wishing she killed that bastard seasons ago. As Megan is about to go inside, Kimberly crawls out of her hidey hole and asks, "How was the date?" Megan puts on her "I'm-sorry-for-you-but-your-husband-is-mine" look and apologizes for having "these feelings" for Michael. Surprisingly, Kimberly remains calm and tells Megan she "can have him" - Michael is "a present" (yeah, the kind that should be wrapped up with a razorblade bow). "You can't just give away your husband", Megan retorts but Kimberly says she can because she's dying. And, after all, it *is* a law that whenever you have a terminal illness you can do whatever you want, right? Megan is instantly sympathetic so Kimberly explains she has a few months to live and begs Megan to promise she will "be there" for Michael after Kimberly's death. Megan just stares at her, which I guess is supposed to mean "yeah ok" since she never actually promises.

--written by Lee, Jo, Cindy and Daniel; edited by Stacie

Craig announces to the D&D Board that he has "controlling interest" in the company; Kyle watches as Taylor escorts Peter home, confronts her about it and then goes to make a play for Sydney.