Next we see an arial shot of the pool and I almost didn't recognize the courtyard without PoolBoy standing there. Kyle returns home surprisingly well groomed for someone who just spent the night with his neighbor in a restaurant. Just as he charges up the stairs to his apartment, Sydney pops out of hers and tells Kyle she was hoping to see him. But before their conversation can go any further, Taylor appears at her door and claims her man by wrapping her arms and lips around him. Once inside, she immediately apologizes for breaking her promise and takes the blame for their problem but Kyle says it's all his fault and the theme for this episode is "How To Be A Doormat In Order To Save Your Relationship" (a technique perfected by Billy). After promising "no more broken promises", Taylor removes her clothes and tells Kyle, "Make love to me". Kyle, with eyes wide open, unenthusiastically kisses his wife while Sydney - who has apparently taken pointers from Jane - stares at them through the window.

Peter is lying in bed asleep with his mouth open while he drools on his pillow and dreams of Mallomars. At the same time, Amanda charges around the bedroom late for work because her alarm didn't go off. "Did you mess with the clock?", she asks Peter and you know, I think Amanda's a little too attached to her small appliances. The happy couple move their conversation to the kitchen where they try to outdo each other with stories of how bad their work lives are. As Peter takes a healthy swig from the milk carton, Amanda barks, "Peter - use a glass!" so he replies, "You're worried about germs? We've shared more than milk cartons". This prompts Amanda to make a sarcastic comment about their lack of a sex life and before this redundant conversation can go any further, we're saved by a knock on the door. It's Matt who wants to know if Peter is OK "after last night" and I'll refrain from making the obvious comment here. Peter assures him that he's fine and closes the door, but Amanda wants to know what's going on. Peter explains that he froze in surgery the day before and now fears he won't be considered for Chief of Staff. "Peter, we talked about this", Amanda exclaims evidently as impatient as I am at this circular storyline. She gives him a Mary Poppins pep talk, kisses him on the cheek, and bolts out the door.

We're back in Chicago where Jane drops in to visit her Mother who is recovering from surgery at the "Spill-the-Beans Medical Clinic." Jane's mother must have had a facelift as well as having her gallbladder removed because she looks years younger than she did just one episode ago. Jane's mother begs forgiveness for keeping their evil secret but Jane assures her, "I could never hate you" which, when you think about it, is a pretty amazing statement when you consider Jane has hated many others for far less traumatic incidents. She says she's "confused" and needs to find her "REAL mother" because, after all, you must give BIRTH to your child in order to be a REAL parent, right? Duh. I'm adopted and my mother earned the honor of being "real" shortly after I was born when I threw up on her during a long family road-trip. But enough about me. Jane leaves so she can catch her flight home and her mother sighs dramatically, making the most of her final scene on this show.

Amanda arrives late to work where the receptionist tells her Arthur Field is holding for her on the phone. As she heads to her new office she is stopped by Billy who asks what they're going to do about Craig. She repeats last week's instructions which were to "do nothing" and goes into her office which amazingly has her name already etched on the door. I swear they should just use masking tape to identify that office - in one year, it has belonged to FIVE people. Anyway, once on the phone, Arthur tells Amanda he can no longer wait for Craig to hang himself which is an interesting choice of words considering Bruce did that very thing in Craig's very office. Arthur has filed a lawsuit against Craig for the way his D&D stock was transferred and wants Amanda to be his spy. He wants her to see how the lawsuit affects Craig and then report her findings to Arthur. Amanda is shaky with this proposition and tells him so, but Arthur tells her, "Politics make strange bedfellows" and hangs up. Actually, the thought of Arthur in bed is both strange and revolting. Just as Amanda hangs up the phone, in walks Craig demanding to know whether she has re-hired Alison because they still haven't regained the confidence of Mr. Whipple over at Midline Airways. She tells him she's working on it but this isn't good enough for Gnat Boy who obviously has nothing better to do than harass his employees. He reminds Amanda that he didn't hire her which is supposed to be translated as "don't mess with me and my amazing Baywatch tan or I'll fire you" and struts out of her office.

At Shooters, Alison and Jake are rehashing this proposed business deal for the 67,584th time and I swear I'm going to find a van and run them both over if they don't resolve this issue soon. I won't bother with the regurgitation - it's the same old "Boy meets Girl, Boy offers half of bar to Girl, Girl hesitates, Boy feels rejected, Girl buys new jeans" story.

Kyle is in his restaurant kitchen barking at his staff about how they all need to "focus on their jobs" when Sydney ambles in. Seeing her, Kyle cuts his speech short and tells his everyone to "take five" (read: "get the hell out of my kitchen so I can be alone with my new homeslice"). Once alone, Sydney tries to kiss Kyle but he stops her and tells her their liasion was a "stupid mistake". Syd is hurt and embarassed, so Kyle apologizes and tells her he didn't mean to lead her on. Taylor enters the kitchen to inquire why Kyle "threw the entire staff out of the kitchen" and is both suspicious and annoyed to discover Sydney standing there. Kyle instantly covers with a ridiculously unbelievable lie about Sydney needing a caterer when it's obvious to even Taylor that Sydney has no friends or career for which she would even need a caterer. Syd makes a hasty exit, after which Kyle makes a comment about "people from the building always wanting a free meal". He then lifts a dead-looking lobster out of the lobster tank to cook it and if that's the kind of seafood he's cooking, I think I'd prefer having my gatherings catered elsewhere anyway. Outside the restaurant, a sudden chill has overcome Sydney as she stands there heartbroken once again.

Kyle and Taylor make their merry little way up the stairs after a swim and they must have gotten a rent break because they agreed to use the pool and give Pool Boy a reason for being. Sydney is on her way out and Kyle stares deeply into her eyes as he goes by and gives her a soulful "Hi". Syd mopes her way down the rest of the stairs and runs into Jane, dressed in her usual cheerful black. Syd asks if they can talk and Jane snaps at her that she hasn't got time and then slams her door in Syd's face.

Out on the street we finally get to see something we've been lacking lately - a Billy and Alison jogging scene! Actually, Billy is jogging and Alison is sitting on a park bench looking depressed. Billy asks Alison if she's okay and she admits that she's having trouble with Jake. Billy convinces her to talk to him about it so she tells him about Jake's business offer, her reluctance to accept it and the fact that she thinks she might have ruined their relationship. She explains that she loves Jake and has "never felt this way about anyone before". Ouch - that's gotta hurt! Billy tells her "he knows Jake" and she just needs to reassure him that she's not going to leave him. Alison feels much better and jogs off so Billy takes her place on the Bench O' Depression.

And it's back to Midline Airways, the advertising account that just won't quit. Amanda has won them over without the help of Alison and as she and Craig emerge victorious from their meeting, he's being a "blatant kiss-ass" with his many praises and accolades for Amanda. He tells her he's taking her to dinner tonight to celebrate and that she can't say no since he's the boss and these are "executive orders". Aware of her mission for Arthur, Amanda accepts.

At 4616, Billy has just gotten back from jogging in time to see Sam struggling into the building with three huge new paint sets. He helps her get them inside and then picks that particular moment to ask her if they can try going out again. Sam says no because she's going out with Craig and last time I checked, they hadn't made any kind of commitment. Billy argues that Craig is trying to buy her -- the paint sets were from him. Another debate about Craig's intentions ensues and ends with Sam asking Billy to leave.

At Jane's boutique, Sydney is trying yet again to talk to her sister. She urgently tells Jane she needs to talk to her and adds, "No one understands me like you... you're my sister." Jane snaps, "No I'm not!" which Syd responds to with a playful "oh shut up". But Jane isn't playing and explains that she's adopted while Sydney is not. Sydney is in shock but insists they are "still sisters". Jane mumbles something about being confused and asks Syd to "close up" as she walks out of the store.

Meanwhile, Matt and Dan are having dinner together at a swanky restaurant but with all the tables lined up in single file like they are it looks more like a schoolroom with tablecloths. Matt orders a drink (of the alcoholic variety) but when Dan preaches on about how he cut out all the vices when he got clean, Matt reconsiders and orders an iced tea. Just about then a guy, obviously intoxicated, comes over and starts harassing Dan before turning to Matt and saying, "I'm one of Dan's used-to-be's". We discover this guy is Roger, a former patient and love slave of Dan's. He asks Matt if he, too, is a former patient but when he asks, "has he started living your life for you yet?" Dan gets angry and orders Roger to leave. Roger does so with these words of advice for Matt: "Get out while the getting is good". An exasperated Dan makes an unsettling remark about mixing business with pleasure and then strongly suggests they order.

Michael is working late at his office which is surprising considering his practice is going bankrupt due to lack of patients and the other doctor. Megan saunters in to surprise him and starts seducing him by suggesting they act out some of the "nasty fantasies" she's been having all day. Pardon me, but wasn't that what your last job was for, dear? They are interrupted by a knock at the door which Michael answers, only to be served with divorce papers from Kimberly. Suddenly his libido is limp and he gives Megan the big brush-off as he asks her to leave and I found it interesting that, even though it's only been a week, Michael is already sans wedding ring when last year they had to practically pry the damn thing off widower Billy's finger. Just an observation.

At dinner with Craig, Amanda cleverly brings up the subject of Arthur and tells him he's "nothing like his father". He tells Amanda what a "spectacular looking woman" she is and then confides that his father is sueing him. Amanda feigns surprise as well as concern for her job security should Arthur regain control of D&D and now I'm beginning to think Amanda is the actual pawn in this twisted Field game. Craig asks Amanda to dance but Amanda is more concerned with their conversation and asks how he plans to handle this lawsuit. Craig cooly informs her that there are "skeletons in the closet" and, because he "knows too many secrets" he's not worried about losing his job. Out on the dance floor, Amanda tries to get the dirt by telling Craig, "I can keep a secret" but Craig keeps mum and tells her, "if these secrets get out, they could make my father's life a living hell." Oh darn.

It's morning at Peter and Amanda's and he's busy giving her a hard time for staying out so late with Craig the night before. He's headed off to play golf, saying he needs "time off to get his head together". Amanda starts in with the bitching about how he shouldn't be off playing if his practice is doing so badly but, with apple in hand, Mr. Big states "If I have to accept you partying the night away with a strange man, I don't see where you get off questioning anything I do." Looking like she just got knocked over the head, Amanda stirs her coffee and keeps her mouth shut as he heads out the door.

Back and D&D, Billy (in a suit!) is quizzing Craig about the paint set he gave Sam, hinting that it must have cost a fortune. Mr. Cool quickly tells Billy that he knows he's is just digging for the scoop and that it's really none of his business. Sure, Billy says, "unless you hurt her - then I'd have to kick your teeth in." Craig grins, obviously unphased ("Well my suit's better than yours Billy, so there!")

Jane the super sleuth is busy bugging a mailman about her mother. After he tells her repeatedly that he doesn't remember one neighbor from the next, Jane tells him her mother's name. Of course the mailman has instant total recall and tells Jane that her mother was an actress, "pretty too, sorta like you!" Jane beams since that's the best compliment she's gotten in months.

Off to Shooters where Jake is busy mopping the floors (ever think of hiring someone to do that for you?) and in walks Alison gushing over how badly she feels about hurting Jake the Wonderwimp. He tells her, "You just hit a nerve when you turned me down" so he must be referring to the "I'm-Jake-and-I-must-be-in-control-at-all-times" nerve I suppose. Alison rambles on about how much of a responsibility it is to run a bar and how she doesn't know one thing about it and after all, this is quite a commitment! But wait - she has a plan. Alison wants to learn everything about the business for a year and then if everything's ok, she'll take the partnership. Jake says what we're all thinking: "admit it, you're probably not gonna be here in a year" but of course Alison quickly gets defensive and tells him, "I'm not going anywhere" (I think I've heard this somewhere before). Jake gets all mushy about how special their relationship is to him and how he was just expressing that when he offered her the bar -- "a part of me" -- instead of taking her out to dinner or giving her flowers like most normal people would. Pouting, he rushes off with the mop, claiming he isn't angry anymore and that it was just a "case of bad timing".

Sydney's knocking at Jane's door now and barging her way in, uninvited. She tells Jane that she doesn't care who their parents are and that they will always be sisters. Jane keeps trying to kick her out but Syd won't budge. She wants to talk to Jane REALLY badly but all Jane can think about is finding her REAL mother. Sydney makes a half-hearted attempt at talking Jane out of this and starts crying about how much their sibling relationship means to her. When Jane points out, "all we did is fight", Sydney responds, "We've always been close", obviously overlooking about 75% of her storylines thus far on this show. Sydney then offers to help Jane find her birthmother but of course she gets shot down. Crying (and very effectively, I might add) Sydney says she understands, "I'm not a part of that family" and jets out of Jane's apartment, looking like a puppy who's been kicked in the head.

Nightfall at the beach house and it's Megan, looking like she just cleaned a few houses, surprising Kim on the porch. "This isn't working", she says and goes on about how Michael still loves Kimberly despite the divorce papers. Kim snaps at her to "get him back, that's what I hired you for in the first place!" Kim gets all shook up, shouts about how much Michael will love Megan after she's gone and then clutches her forehead as she slithers into a lounge chair. Megan runs to her side to offer help but Kimberly refuses explaining that she's "not supposed to get emotional or upset" and if that's the case, what the HELL is she doing here? Calming down, Kimberly says she just needs to know that Michael will be taken care of and tells Megan, "you're the only one who can give me that" although I'm sure there are PLENTY of other women who could pull that one off. Megan agrees as Kimberly cries on her shoulder.

Alison is rearranging the furniture in Jake's office at Shooters when Jake walks in and asks what she's doing. She explains that she needs room for her new desk since she signed the new deed and is now half-owner of the only bar in L.A. Why the sudden change of heart? Because, as Miss Codependency puts it, "If it means a lot to you, it means a lot to me too" and then adds "it could be fun!" which is the #1 reason for people to go into business with loved ones. Alison obviously needs to spend more time with Sam the Ricki Lake fan - certainly they've done a show about this. Alison concludes her Billy impersonation by saying, "I love you and if this will prove it, I'll do it" and I can't wait for these 2 to break up.

Craig takes Sam to an empty loft to get her opinion on it for a "friend" of his since Sam is now an expert on buying apartments in L.A. And I've got to know - what's with the wardrobe and makeup people on this show? Sam is the 3rd female in this episode to show up with this hideous "limp, dirty, hair-parted-on-the-side with a barrette" hairstyle and 70's retro clothing on. Do people in L.A. really look like this? Anyway, Sam gushes profusely and tells Craig she'd "kill for a place like this". Whoa, slow down Sam - you'll get your chance. Just stay on the show for more than one season and murder will indefinitely end up in your storyline. Craig tosses her the keys to the apartment and tells her he got the place for her so she'd have a place to paint. When Sam refuses his generous offer, he explains, "Don't look at this as a gift from someone who cares" -- no surprise there -- "look at this as an investment in your career." He continues that he "doesn't expect anything in return - just great art" so now I'm wondering why he gave the place to HER. After resisting some more, Sam finally gives in and thanks Craig with a hug while he reassures her there are "no strings attached".

Hey, here's something new - Peter is drinking and drowning his sorrows at Kyle's bar while Taylor plays bartender/psychiatrist. She urges him, "talk to your bartender", so Peter thanks her for their talk the other night. Taylor instantly starts another round of Amanda-bashing -- which, by the way, should be limited to those with at least 2 years on the show -- by suggesting Beth was better at talking and listening than Amanda is. She tells Peter, "I hope I'm not overstepping my bartender bounds here" so Peter assures her she is and reminds Taylor that Beth is gone and his life has changed and didn't we go through all this a few weeks ago in the hospital parking lot? Taylor leans forward and, holding Peter's hand, coos, "I believe in you" while Kyle witnesses this gesture from the kitchen. Peter leaves and, once outside, is confronted by an angry Kyle who warns him, "If you want to be friends with my wife that's OK but if you touch her in the wrong way I'll tear your throat out!" So I guess that means Peter is prohibited from giving Taylor a decent wardrobe or fixing her hair. Peter almost slips and explains his true relationship with Taylor but catches himself and assures Kyle that nothing is going on.

Sydney is closing up shop at Jane's when she's startled by Kyle standing in the shadows... in the open doorway... late at night. Will this girl never learn? Despite Syd's frightening hurl-colored polyester blouse, Kyle enters and immediately starts apologizing for leading her on but Sydney counters and apologizes for misreading his intentions and, once again, we're on the Merry-Go-Round of Codependency. Kyle explains that he made a mistake but Sydney understands. "We all act impulsively - God knows I have", she says but I have no idea what she's talking about. Husband-stealing, prostitution, stripping, blackmail, attempted murder, cults and producing pornos are all a part of growing up, aren't they? Sydney explains that she's had a rotten week and she's in a "lonely place". Kyle holds her as she starts to cry.

It's late at night but not too late for Jane to be roaming the streets of Hollywood, where she happens upon "LARRY EDMUNDS Hollywood Movie Memorabilia". The store is closed but Jane begs her way in explaining that she "has to find someone tonight". She tells Larry she needs the stage name for Sherry Larson so he offers to look her up and proceeds to flip through a BOOK about 6 inches thick - I guess the memorabilia business doesn't generate enough profit for the poor guy to buy a computer. Within SECONDS he's found Sherry and offers to show Jane her file. Naturally, Jane accepts. Opening the folder, she finds a color 8x10 that looks like an old publicity photo of Donna Mills from about 15-20 years ago. Jane is breathless and, holding the picture, sighs, "Oh my God - you're beautiful."

--written by Stacie, Lee, Cindy and Jo

Fed up with Peter's new golf obsession, Amanda tosses his golf clubs into the pool; Jane meets her birthmother face-to-face.