Back at "The Place", Megan and Coop are in bed with the raging winds outside. Megan is staring at Coop while he sleeps (this is kind of creepy) and Coop wakes up and wonders what she's up to. Megan tells Coop that Michael kissed her today. Coop calmly asks if she wants him to tear Michael limb from limb. This show is starting to have the dialogue of a cartoon. Meagan tells Coop that Michael is trying to talk her out of moving to Philadelphia. Coop wants her decision. Coop starts to groan as Megan tells her of how L.A. has become her home, but quickly becomes excited as Megan goes on to tell him that the person she's "become" in L.A. is growing with him (So, the Office Manager in her is doing better with Coop than the Hooker in her did with Michael?!) and she finishes, "Wherever you go, I go." Coop tells her this is perfect timing, as the Head Honcho guy from Philly is taking him to a fancy dinner at the "Imperial" the next night and he wants her to go. Megan is agreeable, but suggests they go to Kyle's instead (Why? So psycho Taylor or Amanda can somehow ruin it?!) but Coop says it's the Honcho's invitation, they go where he wants.

Now we're at Michael's Drive-Thru Urgent Care Clinic. Michael is sitting at his desk with about fifty bottles of isopropyl alcohol and a bunsen burner available as all good Doctors do. Jennifer calls to check on him, and informs him that his Mom is inquiring about her investment in the clinic. Michael tells her that everything is going to Hell, Jennifer tells him not to "do anything stupid" and Megan might reconsider him. Michael muses aloud that although he's penniless, the clinic is worth a fortune on paper. Bells and alarms starting ringing! Sirens screaming! We all know what's coming next, and so does Jennifer. Michael tells her there's "more than one way to liquidate a business". Jennifer reminds him that Megan's not interested in money, it's character she responds to, and she hopes Michael finds some soon. Michael says he's considering his options, as he examines a bottle of alcohol. I've got it! Michael's going to torch the place, cash in, and BUY some character with which to woo the fine Megan! Right, then. back to Melrose Place!

The Pool is all scummy and the winds are still high, as Billy suits up to go jogging. Sam wakes up and asks him what's going on, what time is it. Billy tells her "late", and he's going running. She reminds him that he had this early meeting. He says he can't sleep and orders her to go back to bed. Whatever ungodly hour it is, Jennifer happens to just be coming home as Billy is leaving. She asks if he's running away from home. He tells her he's restless, has a lot of issues to work out. Now he is running through the woods of L.A. (where ARE these woods?!) and Jennifer cuts him off in her car. She jumps out and Billy asks her if something's wrong. She says yes, something is very wrong. She says she can't stay away from him (now he's using his second expression, the "Duh" face) and she thinks he feels the same. This is why he's running around like an idiot in the middle of the night. He gets all emotional and says she's way off base. All of a sudden he looks like Sylvester Stallone in "Rocky". I think for a second he may slug her. Jennifer finally professes her love for Billy and through the kiss he mumbles "Um, married" and now he SOUNDS like Rocky. Jennifer starts to drool all over him and he says "no", and literally runs away.

Okay, theme song and steamy pictures of all the characters. C'mon you guys, admit that you rock out during this part.

Jennifer shows up at Megan's and pleads with her to stop Michael from torching his clinic. She tells her to use his love for her to save him from himself. Megan tells Jennifer that she's planning on going back East with Coop. Michael's baby sister says she can't leave Michael at a time like this, and Megan reminds her it's ALWAYS a "time like this" with Michael. Jennifer plays her sympathy card, and chastises herself for barging in and making demands without thinking of Megan's problems and stresses. This works, of course, because we all know that Megan is the World's Nicest Ho. She shares with Jen that she's supposed to go to this swanky dinner at the Imperial, which happens to be where she used to run her "escort" business. ("Here Sir, may I "escort" you to my bed?"). Jennifer reminds Megan that it was this life of hers that Michael saved her from, and doesn't she feel she owes him something? Megan wonders aloud how many times she must save Michael before the debt is paid in full. Jennifer seals the deal and is successful in getting Megan to "see what she can do".

Now we're at Amanda Woodward Advertising, and Sam is feverishly scribbling away. Billy walks up behind her and places a large bunch of flowers in her hands. She starts to panic, wondering if she forgot a special occasion. Billy answers, "Duh. no. Duh, I was just thinking about you and I duh, wanted you to know how much I love you." Sam gives him a kiss on the cheek as Amanda walks by and warns "Watch out when a man gives you flowers, he's either trying to get away with something, or guilty of something he's already gotten away with". Can this woman get ANY MORE bitter?! She's like the Archie Bunker of the '90's! Billy sends her a piercing glare and Amanda walks into her office to find Peter waiting for her. He apologizes for walking out on her at dinner, and Amanda says it's not necessary. So Peter invites her to dinner again, with Lexi included. She tries to shoo him away again, but he's persistant. Amanda gives in and stipulates that there are to be no sermons on her life choices given. Peter says he'll make the reservation at Kyle's and Amanda starts freaking out about him playing matchmaker. Peter starts to backpetal but Amanda eventually says "fine", and the date is made.

Lexi is all geared up and riding a horse around. It must be nice to be Lexi Sterling, I don't think this woman's done a day's work in her LIFE. She passes some guy who's also riding a horse, and her eyes widen in recognition and she says "Rory?!" This is definitely the stupidest name of anyone who's graced the Melrose screen. He asks her what she's doing here, and she tells him she now lives in L.A. Rory asks if she's escaped her "hypocritical" husband and she tells him that Coop lives in town too, but they're happily divorced. Rory seems elated (it is at this point that I realize this guy looks like an adult version of Eddie Munster) and tells her that she deserved better (namely himself) and they both have a good chuckle over THAT little tidbit of insanity. Chatting, it's discovered that he is single and working on some investment deals. We leave them smiling at each other.

At Kyle's. Lexi, Coop, and Amanda are dining. Amanda is bitching about the food and everything else under the sun (except the wine, she's sucking that back okay). Surprise! Rory shows up and Lexi introduces him. Peter shakes his hand and says "Peter Burns" which always makes me laugh so hard I almost shoot Merlot out my nose. Lexi explains how they're old school chums, and after bumping into him, she invited him to dinner. They discuss their occupations, and before we know it, Rory's nose is completely buried in Amanda's perfect white butt. He starts gushing about how great the Advertising business is and Peter sneers at him and starts gushing about the restaraunt, and how the Chef is also a great guy. Amanda sees this one coming a mile away and bats his praise of Kyle away. Rory shares that he closed a deal today, and is going to have Champagne to celebrate. Amanda tells him to make it a bottle, and she'll join him. What a LUSH! He snaps for a waiter, and Peter sneers again.

Michael is lighting up the bunsen burner in the clinic. He begins to pour some alcohol on his desk, and is just about to tip the burner over when the light switches on and the Priest comes in. Michael asks what he's doing there, and the Father says "Saving your butt, it looks like!" Michael says he was doing some lab work and the Father obviously has Michael's plan figured out. He offers to buy the clinic with the money that Michael donated to the church. Michael accepts.

Amanda's glass is topped off (wonder how many this makes?) and she's telling everyone at the table to join the "party". Pretty lame party. Lexi and Coop say they've got to get home and Rory makes a feeble attempt to get them to stay. Amanda dismisses them but says since she's been a bad girl, she's going to stay after school. Kyle comes up behind her and clutches her arm, requesting a word with her. She practically falls off the chair, and stumbles away with him all sloshed. Kyle tells her he's going to Dallas to see Nick. Amanda asks him why she should care. Kyle draws some parallels for her between Nick and Christine while Amanda rolls her eyes and looks bored. She bitches at him for trying to change what's already happened and tries to turn away. When Kyle takes her arm and looks her in the eye to show her his sincerity as he tells her he loves her, she bitch-slaps him good. Ah, true love. With passion like this in your life, who needs enemies? Amanda spits at him that this isn't about love, it's about two dead women. Christine and herself. If this woman doesn't get off the Pity Pot pretty soon, she's going to have a permanent ring around her ass! Kyle stares into the distance looking stunned as Amanda returns to her drinks and Munster-Man.

Megan opens her door in the morning and Michael grabs her head and plants a big smooch on her lips. He starts thanking her for giving the Father the idea of buying the clinic. He starts equating this act as love, and she tries to set him straight. Michael being ever-persistent, tells her what a swell guy he is in that he's not going to use the money to sue Coop, but instead wants to use it for himself and Megan to start a life together again. Megan tells him she loves Coop, and shares her intentions to move away with him. Megan shows him the door and he sheepishly leaves. (We know he'll be back.)

Peter and Coop run into each other in the parking lot at the hospital, and Peter asks Coop for the scoop on Rory. Coop tells him that Rory dated his little sister and dumped her for a rich girl. His overall opinion of Munster-Man is that he's pretty slimy. Peter shares his concern that Amanda was hanging out with him.

Now we're back at the Agency, and Amanda is barking out commands worse than a Drill Sargeant. In the real world, this woman would have a Personnel record thicker than her skull. Munster-Man shows up with roses wearing a WORSE shirt than in his previous scene. It's obvious this guy's signature is going to be bad taste in clothing. He has this incredibly tacky "Cowboy-found-money" look. Amanda is snippy with him and he starts to tell her how work stress can screw someone up. She gets a call and dismisses him. He draws some stupid analogy about the flowers and her both wilting because no one cares. She tells him to close the door on his way out. He obliges, but warns her he'll be back 'cause he wrote the book on taking care of beautiful things.

Sam is touching up her make-up and rushing out of the office when she runs into Billy. She tells him she has a meeting and he offers to drive her to it. She declines and casually says "love you" and dashes off.

Michael is signing papers in the Church and the Father hands him his check. Michael is surprised at the low figure and the name the check is made out to. The Father informs him that Jennifer gave him the low-down on how the whole family invested in the clinic. Michael offers to take the lump sum and handle the disbursement, to which the Father laughs heartily. God probably came to him in a dream and told him all about our dirty doctor. Jennifer shows up and explains how she directed the Father to make out separate checks. Michael throws a mini tantrum and starts explaining how he needed the money for all his evil deeds. Sue Coop, get Megan, buy a car. The Father and Jennifer bail to get some tea and leave Michael whining and pouting over his $730 check.

It turns out that Sam's important meeting is at Baseball-boy's house, as she walks in and immediately starts taking her clothes off. She informs them they only have half an hour, and that the sneaking around is kind of getting exciting. As she's standing in front of him in her sheer black polka-dotted bra, he stops her and tells her he hates this and that it's not exciting. Sam is mortified as he explains that he doesn't want nooners and quickies, he wants lazy mornings and walking around together in public. Sam contends (as she buttons up her blouse in shame) that she wants those things too, but there's so little time. Baseball-boy says they don't have to have sex every time they see each other, they could just talk. Okay. it's OBVIOUS this man is a fictional character. So, they decide to talk. Jeff invites her to the Baylor family picnic and tells her that he's already told everyone about her. When she's assured all she has to do is play softball, she agrees to go. They start making out but end up just holding each other.

At the Imperial, Coop and Megan are greeted by George BigCheese. Megan corrects him in that she and Coop are not yet married. They are shown to their table and when Megan excuses herself to the restroom, she runs into an old client. He starts totally treating her like some dirty prostitute, and informs her that if she's working there again he gets 10% and tells her which rooms to go to. Megan informs the slime in a suit that she's changed occupations, and he tells her he's keeping an eye on her. George BigCheese is eyeing this exchange with interest.

In Dallas, Kyle is checking out the pad which Nick inhabited not long ago. The landlady tells him she doesn't know where Nick might be now but offers the room to Kyle saying she could "cut him a special deal". She can't tell by his Armani suit that he could do a little better than this roach trap? Kyle inquires about phone calls or visitors Nick may have had. The lady tells him about a "tart" who visited and claimed to be Nick's sister. She identifies Taylor as the woman, with a description of her having big, pouty lips. This is a dead giveaway. Kyle looks off into the distance with an expression of awareness (which is strikingly similar to his staring look of being stunned).

Peter is finishing up a conversation with George BigCheese, during which he gave a glowing recommendation for Coop. George tells him where he's staying, in case he thinks of anything else. Michael rushes into Peter's office as BigCheese leaves. Peter tells Michael how this guy is going to give Coop a job all far away, and Michael shares his conviction that Megan's not going with him if he can help it. Peter is kind of pissed that Coop is leaving the practice he helped him into, and Michael generously offers to fill the void since he sold the clinic for a "huge profit". Peter laughs, until Michael threatens to sue him if he doesn't take him back. They start to bicker until Lexi comes in unannounced. Michael leaves the office and is frightened by Taylor, who starts following him down the hall. He tries to get away but she pleads with him to examine her again because she's still dizzy from the concussion. Michael quips that she was BORN dizzy but she won't let him off the hook. She seems genuinely concerned about her health so Michael offers to run some tests and X-Rays. Peter and Lexi emerge from his office and he's questioning her as to why she introduced Munster-Man to Amanda. Lexi claims that although Coop isn't fond of him, Munster-Man is an okay dude, and she's just introducing him to people since he's new in town.

We're back in Amanda's office now, and she's finishing up a one-way conversation on the phone with "No! And that's FINAL!" before she hangs up. It's a good thing Amanda didn't decide to go into Customer Service. Munster-Man walks in wearing another bad outfit. He's trying to bring the leisure suit look back from the dead. He informs her that he's there to take her to the race track. She gives him the "you're NUTS!" look and tells him she doesn't have time for anything that frivolous. He explains that he's there on business. He just bought a horse and he needs her input on using it to market a line of riding accessories. She tells him to set up a meeting, but he insists they have to go NOW. He starts to drag her out, but she pulls away and he confronts her saying she doesn't like him 'cause he's too smooth and pretty. If it had been me, I would have replied "No, I don't like you 'cause you have terrible taste in clothing and you look like a grown-up version of Eddie Munster who was not attractive to begin with!" However, her phone rings and she answers it. It's Kyle, telling her about his findings in Dallas but she cuts him off and hangs up on him as rudely as possible. She decides to take off with Munster-Man afterall.

Kyle is telling Jennifer that he knows Taylor was involved in the Nick thing and says he's going to tear her head off when he sees her. Jennifer tells him he'd probably get a lot more out of her if he was nice about it. Kyle sees the wisdom in the All Knowing Jennifer's words and stares into the distance some more.

Amanda and Munster-Man are walking down the stable aisles. He offers to take her out after they look at the horse. As Amanda's checking the animal out, Munster-Man gives the stable boy some cash for letting him in and pretending the horse is really his. This guy is one slimy dude. Amanda starts asking all kinds of nosy questions about his motives for buying the horse and he tells her all about it's great legs, how frisky it is, and that he named it "Amanda". She sees where it's going and says it's time to lay the cards on the table. Although his moves aren't bad, she's too complicated for him. He counters that he's complicated too, and Amanda reconsiders and offers to go along for the ride but tells him to re-name the horse.

Michael is storming through Kyle's in his stalking of Megan, and Taylor informs him that she and Coop just left. Michael tells her that he's on a quest to keep Megan in L.A. Taylor doesn't care and asks about the results of her tests and Michael waves her off saying "you're fine" and then the stalking ensues. Kyle approaches Taylor and notes that she doesn't look so good, to which she confirms she isn't feeling well either. Kyle says maybe she's working too hard and then continues to butter her up and invites her to spend the next day with him checking out a new restaraunt. Taylor is shocked but stupid enough to buy it, and bubbles over with joy. He kisses her on the head and leaves (probably to go disinfect his mouth).

Back at Melrose Place, Sam is carrying laundry and catches Jennifer as she comes home. Sam starts telling her about the Baylor family picnic, and follows Sam up to her place to talk to her. Amanda and Munster-Man are arriving now too, just as Kyle is leaving. He grabs her by the arm and complains that she could at least return his calls. She apologizes but explains that she was busy running around the whole town with Munster-Man. Kyle asks if she's dating the dude and she says it's none of his business. Kyle contends that he has a right to know who his wife is dating, and Amanda shifts from Bitch to SuperBitch and says he has NO rights with her as she glares at him with her ice eyes. Munster-Man gets uncomfortable or scared, or something and excuses himself from the ugly scene. Kyle tells Amanda it makes him sad to see what she's turning into, and she walks past him. He grabs her by the arm and flings her around (how come someone is ALWAYS grabbing someone by the arm on this show?!) and yells at her not to walk away from him. They start to banter loudly, and EVERYONE comes out of their apartments to watch. Kyle restates that Amanda's the only who broke up in the relationship, and he's not giving up, then he storms off past Billy, who is the last one to return home.

Taylor and Kyle are leaving the new restraunt and she's still feeling kind of crappy. In every scene Taylor is in, she's covering her stomach with something. This time it's a big shopping bag. Taylor is totally questioning the motives for Kyle's kindness toward her, and he continues to state it's just because he cares and maybe he's just lonely because he and Amanda are OVER. He says he needs someone to talk to and lean on, with no heavy romance. Taylor offers to be the leaning post, and they walk down the sidewalk smiling and giggling (all the while, you know that Kyle must want to just throw up).

Michael is meeting with George BigCheese at the Hotel. He's obviously tracked him down through information Peter shared. Michael starts to give his uninvited reference to BigCheese, which is believable because Michael is a doctor himself who's worked with Coop in the past. His reference is less than positive, as he tells BigCheese that Coop was thrown in jail for attacking him in the hospital, and that he had affairs with two of his coma patients. Also, he's still dating one of them, whose occupation is a highly paid call-girl. BigCheese is fascinated by this, and Michael lies and says Megan's prostitution employment is current. BigCheese thanks Michael for his input and tells him he'll take the information under consideration.

Now we're at the Baylor family picnic, where Sam arrives apologizing for being late. She's all confused and tells him that although she's in love with him it drives her crazy to be in public with him. One of Jeff's cousins comes up and introduces himself, glad to meet the "future Mrs. Baylor". He calls someone else over to meet Jeff's "fiance", and Sam really starts to freak out. Jeff pulls her aside but his Mom intercepts them and tells Sam that she has never seen Jeff so happy. Sam pulls away and starts to walk off and makes the limping Baseball-boy chase after her. He's apologizing all over himself but she says it's probably a good thing, because now it all seems more real. Baseball-boy swings and misses for his third strike when he proposes! Sam can't believe it, but he tells her that he's a pretty good catch, and lots of women would love for him to propose to them. Sam invites him to go do it, then. Sam tells him that even though she's not fit to be married to ANYONE, she is, to Billy, and she's going to salvage it. She leaves him standing there alone.

Megan and Coop are at the Imperial Hotel, having a drink with George BigCheese and seeing him off. The two men are bragging about each other and BigCheese offers that it's okay that Coop has had personal problems, everyone does. Coop doesn't get it until BigCheese kind of drops it and blows him off. Coop goes to pay the tab and leaves BigCheese alone with Megan and he immediately starts drooling all over her, saying they can't get to know each other better soon enough for him. Coop comes back and Megan practically clutches onto him as they leave.

At Kyle's, Taylor is gleefully sprinkling herbs into some food when Michael comes busting back into the kitchen. Taylor instantly tells him she has no idea where Megan is but that's not why Michael's there for once. Taylor is babbling on about her day with Kyle and says that the moral thing she's trying out is really working for her. Michael asks her how her health insurance is, and eventually spills the beans that she's PREGNANT. She finds God all of a sudden, and starts praying and whining, and tells Michael she doesn't even know who the father is, but it's got to be one of three people. And the lucky candidates are: Kyle, Nick, and Michael himself. Taylor reminds him of the incident and wonders if maybe the baby will turn out to be a good thing.

Sam is in her apartment pacing about, nervously awaiting Billy's arrival. Finally she sees him walking up but before he makes it to the door, Jennifer comes out of nowhere and grabs him. She pulls him into an alcove which is still in full view, and apologizes for practically accosting him the other night when he was jogging. He apologizes for running away. They both share that their feelings are there but Billy says they cannot act on them. Jennifer can't do that and kisses him deeply, while Sam watches from her window in disbelief. Jennifer asks Billy to "come to her tonight" (TO her?!) and tells him to pretend he's going running. She pleads with him and tells him she'll wait up. He leaves without answering and comes home to Sam who is pissed off, and says she's been waiting for him. Billy counters and asks if he's supposed to drop everything because she decided to show up for once. Sam gets smart and backs down when Billy starts to question her mood swings and emotional distance. She apologizes and asks for forgiveness as she kisses him (yuk! Sloppy seconds!) and they fall to the bed making out.

--written by 'Chelle