Peter drops Coop off at his apartment and as he enters the courtyard, he's ambushed by Mrs. Shaw who is lying in wait in the bushes. She admits it was she who's been trying to make Michael crazy and explains she shot at him because "scaring him was no longer good enough." Coop, who maintains he wants no part of this, takes the gun away from her and puts it in his medical bag ("A new type of therapy, Bob... Death Therapy"). He then tells her he wants her to check into a hotel and wait for him while he makes arrangements for her to get help at a Cleveland sanitarium. Oooh - why not take her to the place her daughter and Priscilla Presley "worked" at a couple years back? After being threatened with prison as the only alternative, Mrs. Shaw agrees to cooperate.

Kyle and his staff are at the empty jazz club where Kyle is making a big speech about how tonight is their last night and how he'll one day be in business again and thanks for the memories. Having been fired from closing businesses, I'm sure the employees could care less about Kyle being in business again one day and are worried more about their next paychecks, but Kyle doesn't seem to notice. As he hands everyone their final paycheck, Amanda walks outside where Eric cruises by in a limo. He tells her his "offer still stands" and that she has until 8pm the following evening to change her mind. "I'll see you tomorrow night," he says as the limo pulls away.

It's morning and Michael returns to the beach house where he finds the front door open, the house still ransacked, and the patio door still wide open. He looks surprised so I guess he thought his fairy godmother (or perhaps the ghost of Kimberly?) was going to come clean up the mess while he was away at the police station. He spots a figure out on the patio so he tiptoes out of the house and around to the back where the person has just walked into the house. Michael lunges at and tackles the woman who turns out to be Megan. She explains she was worried because she never heard back from Michael so Michael tells her about the previous night's events. Together they deduce that it wasn't Coop and it wasn't Kimberly even though Michael "swears it was a woman". He then tells Megan she's "the only woman he can trust" and how they may have a second chance as a result of all this. Megan just says, "yeah, whatever" and leaves.

Sam is driving Jennifer to work despite the fact that she supposedly no longer has a job. Jen brags about how Craig gave her a Mercedes "and then borrows it every other day". Sam could care less as she has a wedding to plan and pops a tape of wedding songs into the car's tape deck. Jennifer does her now-patented passive-aggressive song-and-dance as she tells Sam how envious she is of her and Billy and how they're getting married despite the fact that they're poor and almost out of their jobs. She then whines about what a commitmentphobe Craig despite the fact that Craig has told her NUMEROUS times he doesn't want to be in a relationship with her. Sam suggests perhaps he isn't the right one for Jen but Jen insists he is citing, "I have too much invested for him not to be the right guy." She obviously learned about "successful" relationships from her older brother.

Coop shows up at Peter's to reimburse him for bailing him out when Lexi answers the door. The ex-Bickerson's immediately start in on each other about their failed marriage and Coop's obsession with Kimberly and I'm really getting tired of these 2 which is pretty sad when you consider they're supposed to be the new blood to this old show. Coop finishes comparing his relationship with Lexi to his relationship with Kimberly by saying, "Even in a coma Kimberly had more sex appeal." Lexi responds by slapping him across the face and running up the stairs just as Peter walks up and demands to know what Coop said. Coop gets off a few more cracks about Lexi but finishes by telling Peter, "Maybe you can turn her around - I never could." With that he hands Peter the check and leaves. Peter goes upstairs to check on Lexi who is once again locked in the bathroom taking her tranquilizers. As she swallows 2 pills, she notices with panic that the bottle is now empty and lets it drop to the floor.

Megan shows up at Coop's office where he's on the phone cashing in his "Help Dead Kimberly's Psycho Mother" favor to one of his colleagues back in Cleveland. Instead of knocking or coughing or otherwise letting him know she's there, Megan instead stands there listening to his conversation. As Coop turns to hang up the phone he sees Megan standing there eavesdropping and immediately demands to know what she's doing there. She explains Michael gave her her old job back which Peter agreed to so now all she needs is Coop's approval. He insists she's only there to spy on him but softens a little when she tells him how she went to Michael on Coop's behalf to persuade him to drop the charges. The conversation turns to the topic of the recent resurgance of Kimberly and Coop warns Megan how Michael will destroy her too. Megan replies, "Only if I let him" so Coop tells her, "Don't - It would be a terrible waste."

It's 8pm, it's not Friday, and it's definitely not time to party as Amanda sits in an office with Eric and his 2 thugs. Eric tells Amanda smoothly, "Last chance" but she signs the papers and cooly replies, "The agency's yours - I'm not going to sleep with you." Just then Kyle bursts in and begs for Eric's mercy. He explains that taking the restaurants should be enough and Eric should let Amanda keep her agency. Eric refuses but does extend his deadline until the end of the week. Confused, Kyle asks what the deadline is for but neither Eric nor Amanda care to elaborate. Eric leaves and Amanda snaps to Kyle, "I made my decision - all you bought me is 2 more days of Hell." Given the circumstances I guess she thinks buying her flowers and candy would have been more appropriate.

Lexi the junkie is on the phone with a doctor trying to get her prescription refilled but isn't having much luck. Peter walks up just as she hangs up the phone so she lies and says she was talking with an old friend. He notes that she was "up and down" all night (which is a little more information than *I* needed to know) and looks a little pale and insists she come to the office for a full checkup. Lexi pours herself a cup of coffee and tells Peter she doesn't want to go and with as much as her hands are shaking I just hope that coffee is decaffeinated. Peter tells her he'll arrange for her to see a colleague she doesn't know and they'll have lunch afterward. Lexi agrees and kisses Peter goodbye as he heads out to work.

Jennifer walks into Craig's office so she can finger his wedding invitation and sit on his desk as if these things might even remotely turn him on. She assumes they are going to the wedding together but Craig doesn't seem as enthused about it, so Jen sighs that they'll go separately. "But I guess this means we'll miss bowling," she tells him and I had no idea the wedding was being held at the local Bowl-O-Rama. Craig looks equally perplexed so Jen explains how Sam and Billy invited them to go bowling tonight and how it was going to be "Jen's first time". Ha! Like those two words even fit into her vocabulary anymore. Even though Craig knows she's just hoping some of Sam and Billy's "perfect relationship will rub off on them", he caves and agrees to go.

Look! Oh my God - it's a black woman! On an Aaron Spelling show! Will miracles ever cease?! This woman - the doctor Peter sent Lexi to see - is telling Lexi she's perfectly healthy. Lexi tells the doctor she feels a "little anxious" and requests some tranquilizers, but all the doctor gives her is a reality check. She explains that she has Lexi's prescription records from Cleveland, she's been on a high dosage of tranquilizers for several years and the only thing she's going to prescribe for Lexi is a treatment program. The doctor also promises not to say anything to Peter who enters to see how things are going. Peter tells Lexi he has to cancel their lunch plans because a surgery came up but promises to make it up to her at dinner as he breezes right back out the door.

Megan goes to Coop's apartment to give him some papers from work she needs signed. As Coop signs them, he tells her how she's "been great" since she's been back and apologizes for his suspicious attitude earlier. The phone rings and while he goes into the bedroom to have his conversation, Megan inches toward him obviously hoping to overhear some juicy tidbit of information (and here she seemed so sincere about not being a spy). What she doesn't expect to find is the gun in Coop's medical bag which, except for the gun and a plane ticket, is empty so I don't know why he keeps carrying the thing around since it's void of all medical necessities. Maybe he's a drag queen and uses the medical bag as some kind of purse - after all he DOES live in Matt's old apartment. Megan quickly backs away from the bag just as Coop emerges from the bedroom rushing on his way to an emergency surgery at the hospital. In his hurry he doesn't notice Megan's panicked expression nor the fact that she's WALKING BACKWARDS. Instead he tells her he'll drop the papers by her place later as he exits the courtyard. Megan pauses for a moment and then jumps in her car to follow him.

At the hospital, Michael is paged to the phone. Megan is on the other end calling from her cellular phone in her car and informs Michael that she's following Coop which I'm sure everyone including Coop knows given that she's no more than 2 car lengths away from him. If she's going to be a good detective she needs to learn how to tail people properly. Megan tells Michael about the gun and the plane ticket and how Coop just picked up an unknown woman at the Belle Vista hotel en route to what appears to be the airport. Michael excitedly tells her to keep in touch and call him with the airline and gate number information so he can meet her at the airport.

This next scene proves once and for all that the acting talents in the Shue family were all bestowed upon Oscar-nominated Elisabeth, leaving nothing for brother Andrew. At a bowling alley, Jennifer tells Sam what a great time she's having as the 2 head over to the bar to get some more beer. Meanwhile, down in the lane area Craig and Billy are finishing a game. Craig gets his final spare and jumps around because he won until Billy - who is keeping score (don't those machines do that automatically nowadays?) - informs him he lost and Billy is, in fact, the winner. An argument ensues with the hot topic quickly switching from bowling to business until Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum come to blows over the whole issue and start wrestling around on the floor. I'm not a big bowler but that's got to be some kind of foul. Sam and Jennifer run over to them at that point but before they can stop the fight, Billy and Craig start laughing and teasing each other about what lousy fighters they are. With that they each take a beer and proceed to play another game.

At the airport, Michael finds Megan and they continue their "Cagney and Lacey" fantasy by hiding behind a pole and spying on Coop and his mystery lady. Michael instantly recognizes Mrs. Shaw and comes out from his hiding place to confront her and stop her from boarding the plane. Coop admits it was Mrs. Shaw who shot at Michael but explains that she's on her way to Cleveland to be checked into a hospital and Michael should let her go. Mrs. Shaw is a wreck and starts crying so Megan goes over to comfort her while Coop continues trying to convince Michael not to call the police. Coop tells Michael he forgives him for Kimberly's death which prompts a frustrated Michael to explain once more how she died of an aneurysm and he had nothing to do with it. "I hurt too!" he tells them and we here at Melrose Space feel his pain - his good storylines died with his two ex-wives. Coop urges Michael to "end this thing now" by letting Mrs. Shaw go back to Cleveland and get the help she needs. Michael agrees but warns if anything goes wrong, he's holding Coop personally responsible.

The following morning at the oh-so-happenin' Nancy's Diner, the happy bowling foursome is having breakfast after staying up all night. Billy asks Craig to be his Best Man and Craig graciously accepts. Wait a minute - they've already sent out wedding invitations and he doesn't even have a Best Man yet?? Craig says he's going to throw Billy the "biggest, baddest bachelor party ever" which must impress Billy because he then urges Sam to ask Jennifer to be her Maid Of Honor. Sam, however, is more prepared than her lughead fiance and reminds Billy how she already has a Maid Of Honor - her friend Connie from art school. Suddenly we're whisked away to New York City where a woman is looking over pictures of herself and Sam while listening to Sam's message on the answering machine. As Sam's recording excitedly says, "it's going to be a great wedding!" Connie mumbles, "over my dead body" which ought to be exciting considering how people die on this show.

Lexi goes to the hospital looking for Peter and that Mary Poppins nurse who has been on the show longer than most of the cast tells her Peter is still in surgery. Lexi, who is demonstrating gravity by going braless, walks away and bumps into Coop who immediately asks how long she's been out of pills. When she shakily replies it's been 2 days, he sighs and reminds her he gave her "like 20 refills". He asks if Peter knows to which Lexi replies he doesn't because she doesn't want him to know his "dream come true is a drug addict". Amanda is on drugs? Oh wait, Lexi thinks SHE is Peter's "dream come true"... silly girl. It's obvious she's new to this show. Coop offers to write Lexi a new prescription and naturally Junkie Girl takes him up on it but asks why he's helping her. He explains that her relationship with Peter is Coop's way "off the alimony train" but tells her as he hands her the prescription, "you owe me." Lexi walks away and Mary Poppins tells Coop he has a phone call which he takes. He doesn't say anything but, judging by the look on his face, the news is not good.

Sure enough, next thing we see is Coop entering Michael's office to tell him he just got off the phone with his Cleveland colleague who informed him Mrs. Shaw never got off the plane. Since there was a layover in Chicago, she must have "escaped" there. Furious, Michael grabs the phone and calls the police. "Enough of this humanitarianism," he spouts. "I'm turning the bitch in!" Hey, isn't that a Prodigy song?

Craig and Billy are in a hotel room sitting on a sofa drinking beer watching a girl dance while a bunch of frat boy wannabes cheer her on. If this is Craig's idea of a "biggest, baddest bachelor party" I shudder to think what he does in his spare time. Kyle walks in, picks up a beer and raises it in a toast to Billy saying, "you are our hope that romance is not dead." He is? Now THERE'S a frightening thought. A female hotel employee enters the room, approaches Craig and warns him it's the last time she's going to tell him to keep it down. Craig promises to cooperate and then asks if she wants a beer but she just smiles and leaves. Not knowing how to end this scene, Craig turns and, with the help of Kyle, picks up Billy and carries him in the direction of the dancer. Too bad Sydney is dead - at least she made for an interesting bachelor party.

Peter is in surgery getting ready to try out Michael's new glove when Michael himself shows up to watch. Outside, Megan walks up but is stopped by a bodyguard who has been put there at Michael's request until Psycho Mom is found. Megan goes to get a cup of coffee but doesn't see the hiding Mrs. Shaw whom she passes along the way. Back inside the operating room, Peter compliments Michael on the glove but tells him he's surprised that Michael could come up with such a great idea. Coop walks up and chimes in, "me too" and these three really could break off into a comedy spin-off of this show. Outside in the hallway, Mrs. Shaw reappears wearing scrubs because you know they're always just lying around hospitals waiting for complete strangers to put them on. She walks briskly down the hall, nearly knocking over Megan and her coffee on the way. Inside the operating room, Mrs. Shaw's ungloved hand picks up a scalpel and raises it above Michael and how she figured out which of the three fully covered doctors was Michael is beyond me, never mind the fact how she got past Mr. Bodyguard without a mask or disguise of ANY kind. Just as she goes to stab Michael, Megan bursts in and screams, "Michael, look out!" She grabs Mrs. Shaw's hand and stops the scalpel from getting Michael, but ends up getting stabbed herself in the process. Security carries away Mrs. Shaw who shouts, "You took my Kimberly - I'll take your whore!" Coop and Michael lift Megan onto a gurney and as Coop rushes her into surgery, a powerless Michael stands there wondering if they have these kinds of problems on "E.R."

The following morning Billy and Sam are in bed when she suddenly realizes today is THE DAY their wedding announcement is going to appear in the newspaper. Sam excitedly tells Billy to go get the paper which he does and is startled to find a woman standing there outside his door. She turns out to be Connie who Sam forgot to get at the airport. Billy already looks uncomfortable with her being there so he suggests he get dressed and take Connie to her hotel but Sam will have none of that. She insists Connie stay in their extra bedroom; Connie agrees and Billy just stands there with a frightened look on his face, probably because he realizes that scary painting of Sam engulfed in flames is still in there on the easel.

Jen and her curls skip down to Craig's where he is in the doorway kissing the hotel woman goodbye. She leaves, and Jen shouts to Craig that "there are other ways to tell someone you don't want a commitment". That's true, and I hear Federal Express even has discounts for such things. Craig admits "he's a guy" and was looking for a way to tell her which is ironic given that I've seen him tell her outright more than once. Jen tells him she got his message "way too loud and way too clear" and tearfully runs back to her apartment.

Megan is unconscious in a hospital bed when Michael and Peter enter. As a nurse fiddles with Megan's chart, Peter tells Michael how Megan is still asleep but Coop walks in and informs them, "she's not asleep - she's in a coma." Shocked, Michael demands an explanation so Coop tells him how Megan had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia during surgery. Not convinced, Michael threatens to launch a complete investigation until the nurse tells him how she was there and, if anything, Coop should be credited for saving Megan's life. Given all the chaos, Peter offers to take over Michael's staff meeting which Michael agrees to until he realizes he's just said yes to the guy who wants his Chief Of Staff job back. Michael leaves for his meeting, apologizing to Coop as he goes, with Peter right behind him. Alone in the room, Coop tells Megan, "Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you." Ironically it appears Megan is going to be a substitute for Kimberly once again.

At Kyle's, the last boxes are being hauled away while inside Taylor, Amanda and Kyle are having their last drink. Taylor lifts her glass, toasts to "selfishness everywhere", finishes her drink and walks away into the kitchen. Kyle tells Amanda how he's having trouble finding a job as a chef and then depressingly suggests he could get a job at McDonald's or - get this - cleaning the pool at the apartment! Come to think of it, I haven't seen Pool Boy in awhile so maybe the position is open. Amanda feels the pressure just as Billy walks in to take her to see a new client who "might get them off the hook". Hopeful and excited, Kyle kisses Amanda goodbye as he wishes her luck. Outside, Billy asks Amanda again what's going on but she refuses to tell him and thanks him for coming by. As Taylor eavesdrops from the kitchen, Amanda asks Billy not to tell Kyle and he agrees which would actually be kinda hard NOT to considering Billy has NO CLUE what's going on as usual.

Amanda shows up at Eric's looking more ready for a funeral than a roll in the hay. Eric asks, "Can I get you something to eat? I'm having champagne", and I always thought you DRANK champagne but maybe he's hip to something I'm not. Amanda demands to see the papers first which Eric gives her. Once she's satisfied "everything is in order" he takes the papers from her and puts a champagne glass in her hand which she starts gulping down. Eric kisses her neck from behind and then turns her around but when he sees she's crying he gets angry and tells her, "No tears! I won't accept that!" and instructs Amanda to use the bathroom to get herself together. She goes in, tosses some cold water on her face and looks long and hard into the mirror, obviously awaiting it to tell her "who the fairest of them all" really is.

Meanwhile, back at the jazz club, Kyle is playing the piano when Taylor walks up and spills the beans about Eric's offer to Amanda. She explains that, up until tonight, Amanda said no but after overhearing Billy and Amanda in the parking lot she knows that Amanda took Eric up on it and why Taylor is even bothering to tell Kyle any of this is beyond me. I mean, telling him she delights on eavesdropping, spying, and breaking bad news is not the way to a man's heart. Then again, neither is sleeping with another man. Maybe Kyle should become a monk and move to the mountains or, better yet, return to "Silk Stalkings". Kyle doesn't believe Taylor's rantings so she suggests he call Billy since he and Amanda left separately. If Billy answers, then he obviously didn't take Amanda to see a new client. Kyle ponders for a minute and then follows through on this suggestion. Over at Billy's, Sam is playing dressup with Connie who is griping about the formal dresses Sam is having her try on. The phone rings just as Billy enters so he picks it up only to have Kyle hang up on him without saying a word.

Back at his room, a naked Eric is in bed kissing a naked Amanda when Kyle starts kicking down the door. Eric and Amanda put on their clothes and run out just as Kyle succeeds in forcing his way in. He angrily asks Eric if they slept together to which Eric replies, "What if I say we did?" Kyle informs Eric he plans to kill him regardless but Eric isn't convinced and tells Kyle, "You don't have the guts." A pushing match ensues - these 2 have obviously been learning how to fight from watching Billy and Craig - until Eric falls backwards over the balcony. Looking up at Kyle he begs, "Help me!" but Amanda shouts at him, "Tell him nothing happened! Save your life!" Just as Eric loses his grip on the railing Kyle reaches out and grabs Eric's wrist but yells down to the dangling Eric, "Save your life! Tell me I'm just seeing things." Sorry Kyle, but those really WERE Taylor's real lips.

--written by Stacie, edited by Arnie

Amanda begs Kyle "don't do this" as he continues to dangle Eric over the balcony; Michael tells Coop to stay away from his wife and Coop tells Michael she could be in a coma for the rest of her life; Amanda confronts Taylor about running her mouth and then pulls a gun on her.