Kyle must have sobered up some since the last time we saw him because he's trying DESPERATELY to sneak out of Taylor's apartment and go to his own before anyone sees him. Taylor, however, is begging him to stay as she chases him up the stairs. "I was drunk," Kyle pleads, "I don't want anyone to know!" but Taylor insists it could be the start of getting back what they had or something equally ridiculous. Inside his apartment she kisses him and for whatever God forsaken reason he kisses her back and before I can stomach much more of this the phone rings. Kyle answers it and listens as Amanda tells him for the umpteenth time she didn't sleep with Eric. Kyle, whose inebriation has suddenly reappeared, tells her, "You're a user," and then, looking straight at Taylor adds, "we're all users." Amanda tells him she's coming over but Kyle just hangs up on her and yells at Taylor to get out. As she descends the stairs, she runs into Amanda who doesn't appear all that surprised to see Taylor dressed in what little she has on. They exchange their usual regurgitated catty remarks after which Taylor mentions the restaurant and jazz club re-opening parties which Amanda hasn't been invited to nor made aware of despite the fact she's still half owner of the Upstairs. Taylor smugly advises Amanda not to go up to Kyle's apartment so Amanda shoots off one final nasty remark before stalking back home.

Hey, it's that Savage Garden "I Want You" song... You know - the one that goes "Any time I need to see your pizza just close my eyes and I am taken to a place where your gays don't mind in the gentle feeling taking shelter in the pigs in my spine taste like a chicken cherry cola..." (Yes, I know the lyrics are wrong - this is Melrose Place - quit taking life so seriously!)

Ah, it's the morning after and it appears neither Peter nor Lexi slept very well the night before. Not having 8 hours of physical activity before bed (i.e. sex) must have taken its toll on both their sleep cycles. Peter apologizes for going through Lexi's purse but asks that she PROMISE not to go to Coop for anything anymore and, instead, go to Peter. Lexi agrees by telling him he's "her man" and "her doctor" and then hints she'd like to add "employer" to that list. "You want to work in the office?!" Peter exclaims. "Trust me, it's a job that you don't want. The last two ex-receptionists are dead and the third one just got out of a coma and all three were married to Michael. It's a high-risk proposition any way you look at it." Lexi explains she was hoping to put her Interior Design degree to use and redecorate the condo. Peter is all for it and tells her she has great taste because "look who you've chosen to adorn your bed". Uh, Pete - last time I checked, it wasn't you, bud. They kiss just in time for a passing sailboat to witness and spend entirely too much time in frame.

Megan is at the beach house getting out of bed when Michael, wearing a pink apron, runs in and stops her. She explains she just wants to take a shower but Michael informs her she can't because she could slip back into a coma, which is the worst excuse I've ever heard. How about pointing out the fact she can't get her stitches wet you idiot? Megan is surprised and concerned to hear she could possibly return to Sleepyville and promptly gets back in bed. Michael tells her she's going to need "a few months" of bed rest as he heads back out to the kitchen to finish her breakfast. There's a knock at the door and it's Coop who, come to think of it, spends most of his onscreen time standing in people's doorways. He tells Michael he's come to see Megan but, stepping outside, Michael informs him Megan can't have any visitors. Coop senses that Michael is lying to Megan about who truly nursed her back to consciousness and his suspicion hits a nerve with Michael who tells him, "You're not her visitor, you're not her doctor and you're not her husband - you must have shown up at the wrong house." Coop agrees to leave but only because he doesn't want to cause a scene and upset Megan. As he turns to go he warns, "You haven't seen the last of me, Mancini."

At the "back to bouncy" Amanda Woodward Advertising agency, Connie stops by to pay Amanda a visit and drop off a storyboard Sam was working on but obviously didn't have time to deliver herself before running off to Hawaii on her honeymoon. When Amanda notes it looks a little different, Connie tells her she "touched it up". Impressed with her work, Amanda offers her a temp job which Connie is all to eager to accept saying, "Copying IS what I do best." Great, just what we need - another "Samuel Kirov" painting Sailor Moon coloring book versions of Marilyn Monroe's house.

Speaking of Kirov, Sam and Billy are in Hawaii where they've just been led to their disappointment of a hotel suite by Ray, a hotel employee who obviously needs to get out more often. Ray excitedly points out all the room has to offer as if he's never seen REAL people before in his life. He then prattles on about all the neato, nifty, peachy-keen activities taking place like Sand Castle Making Class and the "How To Get A Job On A Successful Prime Time Soap Just By Being Related to Elisabeth Shue" Workshop, to the point that Billy has to pay him to shut up and leave. Once Ray is gone, Sam giggles, "There's only one activity that interests me right now," as she leads her husband to their brick of a bed.

Michael is putting Megan to bed despite the fact that just a few minutes ago we heard Michael tell Megan she'd be confined to bed for a few months and here it is the same day and she's out. Megan is amazed at how nice Michael is being which he attributes to "another side of me that few people see". He shows her a bell he's put by her bedside that she can ring if she needs him since he's sleeping out on the sofa. Megan, still thinking it was Michael who stayed by her bedside all throughout her coma, suggests he stay in the room with her. When he notes that sleeping in a chair isn't the best way to go, she tells him he can share the bed with her. Horndog - the side of Michael EVERYONE has seen - rips off his bathrobe so he's wearing nothing but his boxers and jumps into bed spouting some nonsense about the healing power of "physical intimacy". Megan quickly squelches his schwing as she tells him she doesn't want to have sex, she just wants him to hold her. Disappointed, Michael obliges but says nothing.

Things have returned to normal at the Upstairs jazz club with all the usual suspects including the "Bore You To Death" band. A drunk Kyle approaches Jennifer at the bar and demands another drink, despite her protests that he's had enough. At the other end of the bar Coop sits down and starts whining to Jennifer about a memo Michael sent to the entire hospital surgical staff endorsing the Mancini cauterizing glove. Jennifer, still clueless that her brother stole the invention from Coop, says she hopes there's not a conflict of interest with Michael's glove business and the fact he's Chief Of Staff at the hospital. As she tells him, "That's just what we need - some yahoo with a grudge dragging us under on a legal technicality," you can see the lightbulb immediately switch on over his head. Amanda enters and approaches the bar where Jen greets her with some sarcastic comment about Eric but before they can really get into it they're distracted by Kyle who has just taken the stage. Even though he spends about 15 seconds fiddling with the microphone stand raising it, he's still hunched over it as he welcomes everyone to his re-opening. Everyone applauds so Kyle continues how they should also applaud Amanda, "the queen of give and take... and put out and take some more". The tension in the room builds as it gets quieter and as Amanda goes to leave, Kyle continues making an ass of himself as he lifts his glass and drunkenly slurs, "Drive Safely!"

The following morning Megan wakes up in Michael's arms as he croons how "this is just like old times". Megan insists it's even better this time around since he "REALLY saved her life this time" so Michael continues the mutual adoration by commending her for taking a "knife in the belly" for him. Megan tells Michael they must be "made for each other" which makes Michael very happy. He apologizes for being a "hound" but promises to see her through her recovery regardless of how long Megan "has" to stay there. Megan dreamily gazes at him so he kisses her and at first she doesn't really kiss him back so he must be suffering from some of that "hound dog breath".

Connie is sitting in Sam and Billy's apartment looking at poorly taken wedding photos when Sam calls to "check in" with her. Connie gloats about her new temp job, obviously forgetting the word "temp" is short for "temporary" meaning she'll be gone in another 3 episodes. Connie then asks Sam about her "beast" which reminds Sam she's on her honeymoon and why the hell is she calling Connie anyway? As Sam hangs up the phone, Beast Boy asks her how long Connie is going to be staying with them as he's anxious to get rid of her. When Sam replies Connie will be staying with them a little while longer, Billy tells her how she can't keep picking up "wounded strays" because they always turn around and bite. Laughing, Sam tells Billy, "Connie just salivates," so Billy replies he does the same thing whenever he sees Sam. Ironically, Connie may be doing exactly the same thing.

Upstairs at the jazz club there's a woman with Heather Locklear hair walking around and I'd be willing to bet you it's her non-pregnant body double. At the bar, Kyle has drunk himself asleep until Taylor walks up and wakes him up. She tells him she has some leftover appetizers and suggests bringing them upstairs to give to him for free so Kyle makes a smartass remark about "women who give things out for free". Taylor replies how she "knows what she wants" so Kyle makes another negative comment about women who know exactly what they want. I wonder what would happen if Taylor said she doesn't know what she wants and charges for it - Kyle would probably compare her to Megan then. Taylor, continuing her thoughts through actions, plants a big fat kiss on Kyle before skipping away so Jen comes up to confront her boss about it. She reminds him it's just like the "old days" when he had a problem with Taylor and would come to Jen only now he's having problems with Amanda and running to Taylor to "feel good". Kyle slurs, "I feel great" and leaves just as Michael and Craig approach the bar. Michael informs his sister that, since she won't leave her "barmaid" job, he and Craig are there to see her to have a "company lunch meeting". Michael states how well their company was doing until Craig and Jen "stopped being a couple". He then compares business to weather with the following analogy: "A new company is a fragile organism. It's very delicate. It's like... well, it's like a snowflake." Getting angrier, Michael continues, "And my little snowflake is turning into slush because you 2 idiots are pouting like HIGH SCHOOL KIDS!" As "Chief Medical Officer" of their company, Michael orders his 2 partners to have dinner and "patch things up" so they can "all get rich".

Peter comes home and finds Lexi excitedly sorting through swatches of fabric and paint samples. She asks Peter for his opinion on what she's choosing for his condo but he reminds her she's in charge and the decisions are hers to make. Lexi tells Peter how happy she is and asks him to pick out some wine while she goes to "freshen up". Peter calls out to her asking if she wants red or white wine and, given that she's in the bathroom taking tranquilizers, I think the best thing for her would be a nice Hawaiian Punch. When Lexi doesn't answer, Peter walks toward the bathroom to ask again but, when he sees her popping her pills, quickly steps out of her view to sigh and contemplate what to do next.

At the hospital, Michael approaches Peter who is filling in for Dr. Schulman and, therefore, is now overseeing Megan's case. He asks Peter not to let Megan know how well she's recovering because he's trying to "salvage their relationship". Peter reluctantly agrees but asks a favor in return - let Lexi decorate the Mancini Glove office free of charge in exchange for using it as a showcase. Hearing the word "free" is enough for Michael as he agrees and promises not to tell Lexi it was all Peter's idea. He mentions that Peter must really love Lexi to be her "manager" now so Peter explains how he's tired of bad relationships and really wants to make this one work. Michael cites how both Amanda and Taylor were lost causes since Amanda was addicted to work and Taylor was addicted to Peter. As a lightbulb goes off over Peter's head, Michael continues how Peter "attracts addictive personalities" because he's an "enabler". "Then again," Michael adds, "my sister could have told you all this just from reading Cosmo."

As the camera pans slowly over what appear to be a bunch of colored-in pages from a coloring book, Amanda is praising Connie for her work. She then tells Connie how she needs someone to go to Seattle to meet with the client so Connie suggests Amanda send Billy, no doubt so she can spend more time with her former roommate. Amanda says she needs Billy there at the office but Sam would be perfect for the "under 30" staff in Seattle and she could even stop by there on her way home from Hawaii. Yeah, I'm sure Sam planned ahead for such a detour and packed business appropriate attire for her honeymoon. Connie excitedly advises Amanda to "call her right now" with the "good news" and Amanda walks out to do just that. En route to her office, however, she's stopped by Taylor who tells Amanda that Kyle wants her to sell her half of the jazz club. Taylor, whose hair has returned to it's hideous "bed head" appearance, informs Amanda how, since the restaurant is doing so well, she has the money to buy Amanda out. I gotta say, everyone MUST be going to "Kyle's" if Taylor has that much money after being re-open just one day. Amanda refuses to give anything to Taylor who quips, "But Amanda - you've already given me Kyle!" before bouncing away.

Lexi and Peter are walking the streets of LA and Lexi is excitedly jabbering about how Michael called and wants her to redecorate the Mancini Glove office and how she's going to use his office as a showcase since it's a new business and they can't afford to pay her. Why having someone ask for your services who can't pay you is good news is beyond me but, then again, I don't have more money than God like Lexi does. Peter tries to interrupt her to discuss something with her but she isn't done sharing her news. They stop in front of an empty building which Lexi explains will soon be her interior design shop. Let me guess... it will be called "Lexi Cooper's Interior Design Shop" right? Not wanting to spoil Lexi's good mood, Peter opts to hold off on telling her whatever it was he was going to say.

Taylor approaches Kyle at work in the kitchen and tells him Amanda wants to sell her half of the jazz club. She also tells him she has enough money to buy Amanda out and suggests Kyle tell Amanda to sell. Feeling he has nothing to lose, Kyle agrees.

Out in the restaurant, Jennifer and Craig are having their "Let's Patch Things Up Over Dinner Because Michael Made Us" dinner. Jennifer explains she wants Craig to be "my lover, my friend and my partner" and continues by saying she wants a "full on, 8 cylinder commitment". You gotta love a girl who compares love to cars. Craig explains how he's not ready because the last time he committed "she was ripped out of my life". With that, he stands up and walks out of the restaurant and it's just a matter of seconds before Jennifer's high heels are click-clack chasing after him. Outside, she tells Craig to make her a "counter-offer" since he's not willing to accept hers. He sighs, "Let's sleep together when we're lonely and try not to hurt each other." Wow, talk about extremes. Jennifer tells him, "I'll take it - for now" and kisses him.

Megan is sitting on the sofa in the beach house when Coop comes wandering in through the open patio door. Megan is surprised to see him there and explains that Michael is at the hospital. Coop explains that he's there to see her and that Michael is "exaggerating her weakness to keep her under his thumb". Megan tells him he's wrong and as proof cites how Michael stayed with her throughout her coma. Coop softly says, "That was me." Megan still isn't buying it so Coop suggests she ask Michael what kind of music he played and tells her he himself knows it was Joni Mitchell and the Pacabel Canon in D. Michael comes home and throws Coop out after which Megan tells him about Coop's accusations. Michael explains that Coop tried to keep him from seeing her and has a sick fascination with coma patients. Not completely convinced, Megan asks what kind of music he played for her to which Michael responds, "A little of this, a little of that." Still doubtful, Megan asks, "Do you know what my favorite music is?" Michael smiles and replies, "Not yet, honey, but I'll make it my business to find out." As he hugs her, the look on Megan's face discloses that either Michael isn't using Dial soap or she's on to his lies.

Kyle approaches Amanda in the courtyard about selling her half of the jazz club. Amanda flippantly tells him she doesn't care either way but doesn't want to sell it. Telling him, "You can have it - for free," she signs it over to him on a piece of junk mail and storms off. Naturally, Taylor doesn't miss a bit of the action as she watches through the blinds from her apartment.

Just as a reminder that these two are still on the show, Billy and Sam are outside their honeymoon hotel where Billy is saying goodbye to Sam who is on her way to Seattle. Kissing Billy goodbye, Sam promises to call from Seattle later that evening.

Michael, Craig, Jennifer and Lexi are arguing over interior design issues when Coop floats in and serves Michael with a subpeona. He explains that he's sueing the Mancini Glove company for stealing his idea which, naturally, Michael emphatically denies. Defending Michael, Jennifer states, "My brother may be slimy but he's no crook!" Lexi tells them not to believe anything Coop says but Coop keeps his typical cool as he proudly states his faith in the justice system as only a proud American could. He tells Michael he'll "see him in court" and walks out.

Billy returns home and is greeted by an almost naked Connie who has just emerged from the shower wearing a towel. Playing dumb, she asks, "Where's Sam?" so Billy tells her she's in Seattle. He heads into the bathroom to take a shower and not 2 seconds later does the phone ring with Sam's promised phone call. The bathroom must be soundproof as Billy obviously doesn't hear it, nor does he hear any of Connie's obnoxious comments. "So, are you going to have an affair with your secretary while you keep Billy barefoot and pregnant?" Connie asks. Sam laughs and when she asks again if Billy is home yet, Connie questions, "Are you afraid he's off tomcatting around?" Sam is secure in her relationship because, after all, she's in the opening credits and Connie isn't. She asks yet again if her husband is home to which Connie replies, "No, he's not here." Smirking, she promises to give him the message that Sam called.

Jennifer goes to the beach house and confronts Michael about Coop's accusations stating how the success of the company is the "foundation" of her relationship with Craig. Michael insists he is "100% not guilty" so Jen reminds him, "There is a touch of larceny in our gene pool, you know." Michael replies, "If you're referring to Dad I'll have you know that kind of thing skips a generation" but Jen informs him, "I'm referring to Gramps." Turning up the drama to 11, Michael comments how "troubled" he is that his own sister doesn't believe him and finishes with, "I have got to get some air" before leaving. Megan emerges from the bedroom and asks Jennifer about Coop and the whole music thing. Jennifer tells Megan how Coop had her bring some of Megan's favorite CDs to the hospital and then babbles on about the healing power of music. Megan picks up the phone and calls Peter on his car phone and asks him if anyone "kept a vigil" by her bedside while she was in a coma. Peter truthfully answers that Coop spent a lot of time with her and when Megan asks, "What about Michael?" he replies that he's "sure" Michael was there but is also very busy with his Chief Of Staff responsibilities. Megan has one final question - she wants to know if her condition is as fragile as Michael is making it out to be so Peter tells her she's a "healthy, young woman" and should be getting around pretty well by now. Thanking him, Megan hangs up the phone and tells Jen to take her back to "their" apartment.

Peter arrives at home and finds an upset Lexi on the phone with Craig. Hanging up, she tells Peter about Coop's lawsuit and insists he's out to ruin HER life all over again. Peter tells her the lawsuit has nothing to do with her but she heads into the bathroom to take her tranquilizers just the same. In her hysteria, she drops the bottle and the pills fall over the floor so she starts crawling around to pick them up and shove them in her mouth. Peter begs her to stop and, holding her wrists, picks her up, shoves her face in front of the mirror and tells her she's an addict as he forces her to look at herself. Lexi bites his hand and kicks him as she breaks free of his grasp and runs down the stairs. Peter chases after her out to the car where she is in the driver's seat starting the engine. She proceeds to pull out of the driveway and take off, but not before Peter runs and jumps into the passenger seat a la Batman style. He urges her to pull over but she insists he's a control freak and tells him that's why his marriage fell apart. There's a thud and Peter asks, "What was that?" before screaming at Lexi, "STOP THE CAR!" Lexi finally stops and they both jump out as Peter looks down the road to see what, if anything, they hit. Shaking, Lexi starts crying and begs Peter to hold her which he reluctantly does. He drives them home and tells Lexi to go inside while he parks the car in the garage. Before he does so, however, he takes a look at the front of the car to see if there's any damage and is horrified to discover blood on the headlight.

--written by Stacie

IN TWO WEEKS: Taylor confronts Kyle about his excessive drinking; Craig tells Jennifer he thinks Michael is guilty and wants him out of his company; a beat-up looking man tells Peter he was a hit by a car and a woman was driving it; Lexi tells Peter she wants to turn herself in to the police.