Weasel Boy Weekly
for
September 28, 1998

 

Arizona's Travel Guide To Desert Snakes

One apparently must be very careful when changing tires, urinating or just plain gettin' it on in the Arizona Desert... There's all sorts of snakes and creatures one must look out for. Luckily, your friendly neighborhood Weasel Boy has put together a list of all the things you should keep your eyes open for...

  1. The Dreaded Amanda Snake
    Nasty and highly poisonous, the Amanda snake can survive all sorts of life threatening situations such as bombs, electrocution, cancer and bad hair days. It's most noteable quality is it's ability to hook up with other groups of snakes, take a leadership role, but never actually join, choosing to just stay a guest for years and years.

  2. The Kyle Trouser Snake
    This snake could be dangerous what with strong jaws and cunning intellect. However, because of it's crossed eyes, never actually hits the target.

  3. The Kyle's Brother Snake
    Slightly more attractive than the Kyle Snake, but easily scared by just yelling "SNAKE".  Probably doesn't live longer than a season or two.

  4. The Megan Snake
    Scares it's family to death, sleeps with just about any snake out there, and makes a great house pet.

  5. The Alithon Snake
    Instead of going "ssssss" like most snakes, the Alithon Snake goes "THHHHHHH" and tends to black out alot. The Alithon Snake is now extinct because of spinal abnormalities that caused it to spend way too much time on it's back.

  6. The Lexi Snake
    Mean, Evil and Deadly poisonous, the Lexi Snake has beautiful Red Skin that it tends to shed at the drop of a hat. Mortal enemy of the Amanda Snake, but just doesn't match up.

  7. The Kimberly Snake
    Kind of like an earthworm. You think it is dead and gone, but it just keeps coming back. We're still waiting.

hugs and dishes
wb

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