Weasel Boy Weekly
for
April 8, 1996

Possible synopsis for the final episode

Matt finally gets kissed on screen... by either Jake or ME!, then Sydeney finally get's kissed by the returning Traci Lords, after which, they both explode into a million pieces, taking Joey Lawrence with them. Jane grows hair, Jo goes to a speech therapist, Kimberly's boob job splits open, soaking Michael with salt water, Alison uncrosses her eyes and Billy's head, no longer to take the stress of the vacum within, implodes.

Amanda finds out that she's just an experiment by a toy company, and is really a sort of Blade Runner type Barbi-Meta-Human prototype developed so ugly fat guys could have sex too. Horrified, she shaves her head and runs off with G.I. Joe.

Loni Andersons face melts under the hot lights, revealing that Burt wasn't the only one with indoor/outdoor carpeting, and Pricilla Presley, mistakes a movie title, thinks she's the Queen of Desert, and hands out cookies and ice cream to everyone. Rhonda returns with a new Prosthetic arm growing out of her back, and constantly gooses anyone who gets within reach. Haley returns to reveal that he DID fall off the ship, but sprouted gills behind his ears, which enabled him to breath underwater and live with the dolphins for a few months. Jo's son returns with his new girl friend, Cher.

Tori Spelling shows up out of nowhere, and gets laid.

THE END.

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