Weasel Boy Weekly
for
May 20, 1996
Year End Pre-exam Melrose Place Study Notes
Ok, Children, another year has gone by, and before we let you go home for
summer vacation, let's all make sure our year at Melrose High has been a
fruitful one..
here's a list of things we learned on Melrose place and alt.tv.melrose-place
- Poor People and Crooks die in either Car crashes or falls from high
buildings
- Rich People Drown
- There is only ONE hospital in Southern California
- There are only five Doctors at a hospital
- There is only ONE doctor, One nurse and three guards (who are
required to be totally gullible and brainless) at mental institutions.
- Plastic surgery makes you resemble a BATMAN villan
- Old people should not wear spandex
- Hetersexual men and women jump from bed to bed to bed and forget who
they've done
- Gay man don't have dicks
- All Parent/Child relations are twisted
- A swim in a pool cures paralasis
- People will forgive you for trying to kill them, and in some cases,
they'll marry you to keep you out of jail.
- Blindness just goes away without warning in a second or two.
- Ugly people don't live west of Denver.
- Tupperware ain't cheap.
- Red heads are always fashion victims
- The only straight men in the fashion world are just still in the closet
- There are no gay bars in Loa Angeles
- Macho Joe was anything but
- Beautiful and Charming Karen lives in the dark ages
- Joey Lawrence has more fans out there than we would have thought
- Only one cash register is required for a bar
- The older, the bitterer
- It's not really cheating if you just lie there and let them do all the
work
- Couches are light weight and very flamible
- The June Cleaver look still works
- It takes a talented actress to be a gun toteing cult girl and a
loose-meat counter girl the same season.
- If you're lucky, you'll just wake up with beautiful hair
- Public intoxication is still fun
- Never get in car/boat/plane with anyone who's not in the opening credits
- Parkinson's disease is just a minor inconvienience
- The A team still hasn't gone away from public memory
- Some people have no sense of humor
and finally,
- Carrie rotted in Hell... Richard is just a pale imitation
Love
WEASEL BOY
have a good summer everybody!
©1996-2001 Mojholio Creations